It seems to be a taboo topic in a job where nothing is taboo. There is a reason I haven’t written about it on this blog, where everything else is fodder for conversation. Clients have incest fantasies? Want to pretend to be corpses, and I’m the undertaker? Eating dog turds? Want to be murdered, dismembered, and stuffed into Hefty bags? Or locked in a cage and covered in ants? Sure! Just don’t talk about fucking guys up the ass!
I cautiously presume prodommes don’t talk about it in public is because it’s admitting to doing something illegal—and make no mistake, any sort of penetration of a person is illegal, including, theoretically, a client sucking on the high heel of one’s shoe. Another reason is because it’s not exactly the most glamorous aspect of the job. Most people don’t want to have anything to do with a complete stranger’s asshole. It’s sexier and more socially acceptable to tell the public that your clients pay you to worship your feet or be put in a leather sack and sensory deprivation. Understandable.
For the record: it’s a very common request and while I’m sure there are dommes who do not offer it, I can state with authority that I have never met one.
Every dungeon I’ve worked at (3) has strapon harnesses and dildos. In fact, seeing a sink/washing machine full of dildos is one of the shocking experiences for a newbie telling her that she’s truly arrived. It goes without saying that the dildos are not there for the women to use on themselves. Tiny dildos and dildos the size and shape of a man’s hand are all in stock.
I do not enjoy doing it at work and my regular clientele gravitated towards other fetishes—birds of a feather, and all that. However, I would not refuse a session because it involved strapon and I have done it many times.
When I was a babydomme, it squicked me out so badly that I WOULD decline clients who wanted it. I would also decline clients who wanted me to piss on them. I quickly learned that I was turning down a lot of money, and, as I became desensitized, my boundaries changed. Some, like willingness to do strapon or anal play for money, relaxed, while others hardened and became immutable.
I don’t enjoy doing it professionally, but clients reading this shouldn’t get butthurt (HA!) reading this, or take it as a rejection. I don’t find strapon “gross” or disgusting. It’s completely understandable. Some do it because they find it very pleasurable. Some do it because they find it painful, which makes them feel more completely dominated. Some do it because they have a phallic fixation which might or might not be a homoerotic impulse. Some do it because they’re misogynists who imagine being penetrated by a dick is the most degrading, pathetic thing ever, as every domme who’s ever had a crossdressing “Beat me and fuck me like a whore!” client can attest. There are many reasons why clients desire it.
I don’t like doing it with clients because it is so physically intimate that I consider it to be sex. And also because, frankly, most clients do not wash their rectums properly beforehand and I find shit repulsive. I am also OFFENDED that clients seem to think it is perfectly okay to subject me to their shitty asses for the relative pittance I was paid ($85-$120/hr) at the commercial dungeon.
If it was just trace amounts of shit, I could deal with it. I’m definitely not a germophobe. I work with all types of bodies, most of them not conventionally attractive, for a living. It is okay with me if you have back hair, are obese, have skin tags, a bad complexion, whatever. Horrid feet with Frito talon toenails make me gag, but otherwise I do not care if you are an ugly motherfucker as long as you are CLEAN.
When I think I might have anal sex with MY boyfriend (and he has to be my serious boyfriend—I have to be in love with him)—I spend serious time in the bathroom making sure that I’m as clean as possible so we won’t come into contact with any significant fecal matter. Shitting on his dick would be humiliating in a truly terrible way and I would hate for him to lose his attraction to me.
Why, then, do some guys roll in off the street and want strapon and either act apologetic (rare) or pretend indifference when I, game spirit and professional that I am, am putting my body up close to their buttcrack and plugging away, and a turd runs out and plops on the floor? Seriously, men, how am I supposed to feel about this? This has happened more than once. I had to clean up the shit, too, and spray everything down with bleach repeatedly.
“I’m married and don’t have privacy blah blah blah” My dude, a Fleet enema kit is available at your local drug store and it only takes minutes. No excuses.
When I first when Indy (prodommed outside of the dungeon), I had a client who essentially wanted me to make love to him while I fucked him with a strapon. No PIV, just strapon and love. At first I found this offensively personal, but the man was true to his word—he never pushed to get regular sex. He brought his own harness & dildo for me to wear, and his body was squeaky clean, inside and out. Because he was so appreciative and considerate, this man grew in my esteem. I wouldn’t kiss him on the face, but I’d hug him and lay on him and give him a lot of eye contact whilst I was doing it, and I still remember him with affection. I don’t mind doing strapon or anal play on the guy in my private life. It’s not something that naturally occurs to me, but if my guy likes it, I’m happy to do it. I think it can be fun. The prostate gland feels like a walnut and it’s fun to see men go like an overwhelmed limp beanbag just by penetrating them and touching it. Especially if he’s the Dom. Tots fun.