by Behold the sweet manna the prodomme goddesses in heaven have chosen to rain down upon me!
I was at the used furniture store the other day, shopping for a bedside lamp and a gift for my mother’s birthday, when, what did I see hanging on the wall but this!
An authentic sorority paddle from 1956, engraved with the logos and official seals of my undergraduate university!
I couldn’t believe it! It’s perfect! It’s everything I ever wanted in a wooden torture instrument! And it only cost me $20!
“It’s been hanging on the wall forever,” said the salesman, who seemed honestly confused by my delight and rapturous enthusiasm. “It came from an estate sale. We found it in a box of random junk.”
“It’s not junk!” I hissed, as if someone had just insulted a prized family heirloom.
He pulled back, startled. “Well, I’m glad you like it, Miss.”
I handed it to him, but before I released it into his hand, I said, “I’m going to keep shopping, but I want this paddle! Under no circumstances are you to sell it to anyone else! I’ll be done in 20 minutes. Hide it in a drawer, so nobody else can see it!”
He looked increasingly alarmed and promised me that he would keep it safe for me until I was done shopping.
I was so happy that I came straight home and took a zillion photos of the thing. Here are a few. Sorry, I can only show you one side of the paddle…the side with the sorority crests and the writing, “CHRISTMAS FORMAL ’56.” I can’t show the college seals for security reasons.
It’s so special that I almost don’t want to beat a boy with it.
Almost.
BEHOLD MY PRIZE:
Check your Twitter PM.
Now you can go to the street fair as a 50s sorority girl!
That would actually be a great costume, if it were immediately recognizable. What do you think? Full skirt, button-up blouse with a peter-pan collar, cardigan sweater, and lace-up oxford shoes?
I was thinking of a tight sweater with a slightly pointy bra. If you google “1950s sweater girl” it will give you a lot of examples. But your version would work too! I think you would definitely want to include pearls – the photos I could dig up of sorority girls at that time all seemed to have them.
The bullet bra, white blouse/tight angora sweater sorority chick would actually make a GREAT costume! I’d even go to a hairdresser to get my hair put in waves! lol cat-eye eyeliner!
Unfortunately, there is not enough time for me to procure the outfit for Folsom Street Fair! But, I am saving this costume idea for Halloween, or next year!
Thanks for reading
whew! for a moment I thought you had been in a sorority . . now that would have been a shocker.
Oh HELL no, I had nothing to do with Greek life at all, aside from a few parties where we all stood on the lawn drinking Coors Light from a keg out of red plastic cups (ahhh, the romance! the ambiance! In what universe outside of extended childhood/college and maybe CAMPING do ‘frat parties’ sound desirable?).
As an educator, my experience with the Frat boys/Sorority chicks was mixed. Some were grade-grubbing strivers and some were appallingly, aggressively anti-intellectual. The anti-intellectuals fascinated me because I was under the impression that it was still fashionable, among the middle classes, to “be smart” and do well at school. On more than one occasion, I saw one of the brothers teasing another “for actually reading the book.” Blew my mind. But, some were great students.
And that’s what they all had in common: overwhelmingly middle-class. Mostly upper middle-class. And reactionary. Charity events, but very little political/social activism of any sort. “Safe” stuff.
ok gotta go to work. Thanks for reading!
Are those engraved letters? That paddle looks in great shape for its age.
Letters are engraved! It IS in great shape, but, from what I understand, it was probably a memento or souvenir, and not actually used for beatings. The paddles at the Studio would have to be replaced because we wore them out, and they’d start to fracture.
That is a very sexy paddle.
John
I agree