Heinrich Says it Straight

      Still no word from T-Rex.  I had my French-Canadian friend search the local papers for a death notice.  No dice.  He’s gone from the internet.  I’ve searched for him in the places he can usually be found, and he was there, doing his thing, right up until the 26th of November.


        If he’s not dead, he got busted by his wife and she took away his internet rights.  Some men would laugh in your face if you tried to take away his internet rights…but, different relationships have different standards.  I have no idea who ran the show at Chez T-Rex.  The fact that he was unable to stop his wife from coming home early (assuming he’s telling the truth about that) suggests that maybe she was the dominant person in the relationship.  I mean, you can bet that if, say, the Surgeon has been in his place, Mrs. T-Rex would have kept her ass in England until he was ready to have her back again, and it wouldn’t have taken days of cajoling, either.

       I just wish that I knew what happened to him.

       I tried to talk to Heinrich again and it became a fight.  Not a mean fight, but still a bit of a fight.

        “Are you drunk?” I asked when he called, because I knew he’d been to a party (yes, I Facebook-stalked him), and the last time he’d called me drunk was from an Aeroflot plane and it didn’t go well.

         He said that he was fine, he’d just had a little cognac. 

         Now, I know that he didn’t want to have this important conversation over the phone, but I still had to ask the question that’s been eating me every since he had his disclosure: “Why didn’t you ever say anything?  Why didn’t you tell me that you cared about me before?”

         “Margo, no offense, but you have problems in your life, and problem men in your life, and I was waiting for you to resolve them.  I was also waiting–in vain–for you to recognize me as a valuable person to you.”

         “What do you mean, problems in my life?  Sorry we can’t all be perfect and have careers appraising art for rich assholes like you!”

        “Oh please!  How could I integrate you into my greater life?  Introduce you to my family as a dominatrix who works at a notorious bondage salon?  That’s not normal, Margo!  I could barely read your blog sometimes because I was worried about you going to meet some strange men in fucking hotel rooms!  Your life was crazy!  You are a talented woman with a good education!  You owe more to the world than to be giving hand-jobs to perverts in that filthy dungeon!  It’s a disgrace!  I want to kill your parents for not giving you more pride!”

          “I never gave anyone a hand-job!  I never touched a penis unless it was to torture it!  I did not have sex with my clients!  And if they’re perverts, what are we, Herr Heinrich from Nuremberg with an O-Ring in his ceiling and an umbrella stand full of canes?  How can you be such a hypocrite?”

          “I enjoy sex, fine, but I do not hire prostitutes, it is true!  It’s not normal behavior!  Are you not listening?  What if you had been arrested, like all those women in 2008?  What, I should go down to the police station to get you out on a prostitution offense?  It’s in the New York Post?  Your teaching job, your reputation at university ruined by your dangerous compulsion!
         And these men! How do you think it felt for me to watch you throw your love away on these pieces of shit who do not respect you!  That Surgeon was even worse than the pathetic liar who stole his neighbor’s bird!  He had no respect for you at all!  He comes to your house and rapes you in your own bed, and you do not even go to the police, and you still had feelings for him!  I would have had him arrested on the spot!  Infatuated with that raping Jew!  If you had told me at the time, I would have killed him myself!  Now, look at him!  No punishment!  No consequences!  On to the next one, just like that ugly seducer in France!  If I was his wife, I would poison his tea!”

         “I can love whomever I want!  You never said anything to me!  I never thought you were interested in me!  I thought you thought I was a loser!”

          “You live in poverty, then you fix it!  You’re more intelligent than most of the people I work for!  That’s another thing I hated about that Surgeon!  I would die of disgrace before I would let a woman I supposedly ‘loved,’ a woman who had devoted herself to me they way you did to him, live the way you do, and make all of these crazy decisions!  When he knew you had a problem with the drink, did he send you to rehab, this millionaire?  No!  He plied you with drugs and drink, used you for fucking and God-knows-what-else, used you for the satisfaction of his sadistic urges, and then ignores you while your life gets worse!  If he loved you, was a real partner to you with an invested interest, you would not have been able to hide that you were working in that dungeon with the perverts!”

         I was starting to cry.  “I’m sorry!  Don’t be mad at me!”

        “I am not angry with you!  I am frustrated!  I am angry at the people who exploit you!”

         “Heinrich…is it true that you hate Jews?  T-Rex said that you hated him because he is Jewish.”

         “Well, of course, he would say that, wouldn’t he?  What a victim.  Of course he would say that my hatred had to do with prejudice, and not to do with his abhorrent behavior.  To answer your question: I like Jews just fine.  They pay my salary.”

           “But what about the dagger on your desk?”  I gotta tell you the truth: that dagger’s been eating at me.  

            He sighed.  “Must we have this discussion over the telephone?  It belonged to my great-Uncle.  The Reichsarbeitsdienst were a labor army.  Arms and weapons are a part of all uniforms around the world.   There is no need to make a meal of this.

        “Now, when can you come to me?  I want to see you, Margo.  I think that we owe it to each other to have this out in person.”

          “Ha!  So after that debacle with T-Rex, you want me to travel across the country and stay in a hotel room by myself if things don’t work out.”

           “I will take care of everything.  I am not going to push myself on you.  There will be no financial risk to you.  T-Rex did not even pay you for your lost wages, did he?  That figures.  That does not surprise me at all.”

            His voice brightened: “If you come before Christmas, we  can go and see the Tree!”


The Reichsarbeitsdienst 

15 thoughts on “Heinrich Says it Straight”

  1. Dear Miss Margo,

    I’ve been reading these last posts but have not commented because your situation with Heinrich seems so personal. I can’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t sound intrusive or pompous. I just don’t know you well enough to say anything. I hope that all this writing is helping you sort things out. I feel privileged to be given this window into your life.
    Wishing you all the best,

  2. wait wait wait okay so let me get this straight: working as a domme (or sub) is bad and kept him from being your boyfriend…but this mister morals is the one who organized a BDSM gang bang, do I have this right?

    Does he go to church, too?

    1. Sorry, but I really must take issue with this. It was much more than a “BDSM gang bang.” Do you have any idea, the work and number of hours, required for the planning? I should be awarded some Military Metal for strategy!


  3. So Heinrich thinks the Surgeon and Mathematician etc. didn’t respect you. Fine. Fair assessment.

    However, Heinrich:

    a) would have been ashamed to introduce you to his family because your job was not normal and a disgrace, and that your life was crazy,

    b) thinks that buying sexual services (and by extension selling them) is not normal behaviour, and that your job was a dangerous compulsion,

    c) questions your decision to not report the Surgeon for raping you, and implies that he has gone on to rape other women because of that, (full disclosure, when I read about the Surgeon’s last house call I wanted to feed him his own genitals)

    d) thought the way you lived was disgraceful and that the decisions you made were crazy, (and would prevent you from living that way and making your crazy decisions)

    e) claims he likes the Jews just fine after using “Jew” as an epithet earlier in the conversation,

    f) belittles your question about the dagger and says you don’t need to make a meal of it since the Reichsarbeitsdienst was a labour army, eliding the fact that it was instituted by the Nazis (in my opinion making it a relevant question)

    Sounds like he doesn’t respect you very much. Rather that he would respect an idealized Margo who makes Heinrich-approved choices.

    Is that an unfair reading?

    1. Yes. It is better than unfair. It is simply wrong.

      I have no objection to prostitution. I support the decriminalization. All kinds, are legal in Germany, with no bad effects to the society. Prostitutes serve an important role, through the history of all society. In Berlin I have twice hired a Prostitute as I was a Young man and had the curiosity. I only hide this from children, which I do not discuss.

      Margo’s life as she had it the last amount of years, was not in the interest of a normal family life. The Surgeon, was not a normal choice of man. Perhaps, you would be pleased, if your sister knew him?

      Why would I respond to the rest?


    2. Hello, H.

      You and I are in agreement on prostitution. I believe that making it illegal drives the sex trade underground and makes it impossible for sex workers or clients to report abuse or theft and makes the working conditions less safe for everyone.

      Why, then, do you refer to Miss Margo’s former clients as “perverts”? If hiring a prostitute isn’t by definition perverted, why is hiring a Domme? Does this make the Domme a pervert too? Is it the sexual proclivity that’s perverted, or is it the paying for it?

      “Normal family life”. Fuck a normal family life. My family was to all appearances normal, and my mother emotionally and verbally abused all of us. (NB: you can force an addict into rehab as many times as you please, but you can’t force them to remain sober if they don’t want to.) My sister’s family is normal, and she and her husband are alcoholics. But hey, they’re socially acceptable alcoholics! I spent my life trying so hard to be “normal” and feeling ashamed for not living up to the societal norms. The only way I’ve found any measure of happiness is by abandoning the fruitless struggle for normality.

      Rather than living her life in the interests of a normal family life, I would prefer to see Miss Margo live her life in the interests of being happy and healthy.

      As for the Surgeon, from what I’ve read of him he could present as normal when he wanted to. If my sister knew him I’m sure he would show his intelligent charming wealthy surgeon face to her family and I wouldn’t know what went on behind closed doors. That being said, he was an abusive scumbag asshole and I am not in the habit of blaming people for being abused.


    3. rC:

      I sit down with the dictionary for this response.

      Margo’s report of this “argument” is honest, as is her custom. I spoke these things, but I did it in free speech, and not at a Lectern with the having the intention of making the persuasive argument. So:

      “Perverts,” yes, it is judgmental. I have heard many tales over the years of customers who are, yes, perverts. This blog has many examples. Chopin, in particular, stays in my mind. Margo has also been touched in ways she did not want to be. She reports that this is far from unusual in the Biz. I believe that men who do this are perverts. Were all of the customers perverts? No, not at all. But, some are. Another commentor on this discussion called me a hypocrite. I am not. I have reported that I hired prostitutes twice (I do not believe that constitutes an admission, as I have never denied it).

      Continuing that, I have my own impulses which would make me welcome in the bondage salon. I do not attend, for the thought of inflicting myself on a woman who found me cruel or objectionable, and is only coerced by my money, sickens me (perhaps I would feel differently, if I was a customer in the submissive role). I have my own cross to bear.

      FUCK YES I question her decision to report the Surgeon’s crimes. We have discussed this and it is not novel to her, my opinion. Rape is a violent crime and almost the worst in American jurisprudence. He is a disgrace to the Profession and a deliberate predator of young women. It is true that he would not have been sent to the prison, unfortunately. The wealthy, have his own law. He would have been…caught? trapped?…and then paid money to make it disappear.

      With respect, rC, your family life and your own struggles, are not germane to any of this.

      “I would prefer to see Miss Margo live her life in the interests of being happy and healthy.”
      I would prefer that also, rC. Do you find her choices, were making her happy? It speaks for itself.

      To end, I meant if the Surgeon “knew” your sister in the Bibical sense of the word. I certainly hope that she never makes his introduction.

      I do not blame our friend Margo for being abused. I completely understand her emotion of intimidation. It is not justice that she has no family anymore to protect her, but that is one reason men like Surgeon and T-Rex find her. I apologize if that is too intimate, aber richtig ist, was richtig ist.

      Now I finish discussing personal matters. Unless, Margo consents to have me call T-Rex at Château T-Rex, as I have asked her to do. The mystery disappearance of the Francophone British colleague, will be answered in an instant. It would be my sincere honor, to write a full report!



  4. Every asshole has an opinion, so here’s mine: One the one hand, Heinrich appears to be an egotistical, anti-Semitic, hypocritical manipulator. his physical actions during his bdsm play with you were as extreme as anyone else’s, but Margo seemed to want and except that so I don’t hold it against him, but he’s more that a little hypocritical there.

    He definitely disparaged prostitutes, as if there was something wrong with that line of work, and he purposefully “misunderstood” the role of pro-dommes as hand job providers, when he know damn well they don’t do that (or at least most don’t). Really, the list goes on.

    On the other hand, Dan Savage says there’s no settling down without settling for, and no one’s perfect. Maybe it’s Margo’s lot in life to be with strong-willed, aggressive, dominant, manipulative men, and Margo could do worse (has done much worse) than Heinrich, who seems to care for her. It seems he may be close enough to round up to “the one”, even though he may only be a .8 or so. I believe life with him will not be boring.

    And maybe, one day, he will get over his thing with Jews. Really, H, it’s time to let that go.

    1. I’m always side-eyeing downlow’s comments before opening them because I have no idea if it’s gonna be a mailbomb, but he has insight and can turn a phrase.

      I don’t see how Heinrich’s behavior could be described as manipulative, but I ran this by my blogger guy friend DrugMonkey, and he said the exact same thing as you, Downlow. So I guess the guys are seeing something I’m not. Wouldn’t be the first time I failed to see the obvious bad parts of a dude, unfortunately.

      In my defense, I have dated several guys who were nice and not as Downlow describes. I just dumped them.

      I think Heinrich is nice. Isn’t he nice? I dunno, maybe he does sound a little…paternalistic?

      I never heard him say anything about Jews before this. In fact, the only time I ever heard the word come out of his mouth was when he got off work early once because his boss had to go to church on Friday.

    1. Anon, what the fuck! I just actually WATCHED your youtube video! That’s not very nice! I’d delete it, but then I’d be violating my own comments policy!

      I have no idea who this person is, readers!

  5. “I like Jews just fine they pay my salary” is about the most unconvincing thing I’ve ever heard. It could even be a backhanded compliment. I hate my company and it pays MY salery.

    I’m with downlow.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.