Reader Mailbag: Creepiest Client?

       “So….who’s the creepiest client you’ve ever met?  What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever been asked to do?”
                           —Voyeuristic Vanilla Creep Gawking at My Blog

        Your question suggests that you may lack a little worldly perspective and empathy, Sir.  It is completely normal to be fascinated by people and sexual practices you find “weird,” but it’s not very nice to objectify anyone to their face like that.  I write this blog mostly as a therapeutic exercise and a vehicle for self-expression.  I find it flattering if any reader finds the content herein entertaining or titillating (though God knows, in my mind, the number of truly “sexy” posts is less than 5%), but I’m not here to be your dancing little hoe-monkey.  If you want wank-fodder on demand, go to a real sex blog or literotica.  Or pay me. 

          But, I’m answering the question anyway, because it’s actually a GOOD question.

         The Attorney takes the cake because he is the best, most technically proficient sadist I have ever met, and he is also total sociopath.  You’d have to meet him to understand.  Actually, you’d have to session with him to understand, because he presents as normal and apparently functions just fine in everyday life–marriage (though I do wonder about that), education, career.  Read my last big post on him (“Ladies, Avoid This Man”) and keep an eye out for the bastinado box.  And his little jaunt to Little Rock.  My initial attraction to him is something I’m still untangling in therapy, because he’s terrified every other pro-sub I know who has met him, and I was ready to dump the Surgeon for him.

          The mental case (who, incidentally, works as a mental health care professional) who wants you to wear the shoes off his dead mother’s feet is #2.

          The freak (but UNDERSTANDABLE freak) who pretends to be the little sister that he and his dad molested in the basement is #3.  

          Suburban South Jersey Dad who gave me his daughter’s Confirmation dress to wear and took me on a little-girl father/daughter field day before beating the shit out of me in his study (see “The White Dress”) is #4.  I still can’t finish that story.  I was fresh off the fuckin boat when I met that guy, too.  

         That brings us to #5, whom I’ve never written about on this blog.  A new weirdo for the edification of my readers.  And you know I respect most of my clients, and do not like to call them weirdos, but this one really is a weirdo. 

            He is more than weird.  He is on the spectrum of being a serial killer.

          He calls himself a “hair fetishist,” but he’s much more than that.  I don’t think the label fits.  

           He hires three women at once: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.  He positions the women in chairs, sitting down, as if they were sitting in chairs in a barber’s shop.  They are instructed not to move or speak in any way.

            Then he takes a huge bottle of cheap hair gel and pours it onto their hair and styles it into a very high ponytail.  

             Then he attaches cheap plastic barettes, like the type of barettes you can buy at the grocery store for little girls–the colorful kind with bows on them.

              THEN he applies makeup.  Ugly, cheap makeup with loud colors–like blue eyeshadow and hot pink blush and crap with glitter in it.

             Finally, he takes out a bunch of really cheap, garish plastic jewelry that looks like it came from the $.99 Store, such as dangly earrings with pink disco balls on the ends, or necklaces made up of plastic blocks.  The jewelry looks like parrot playtoys. 

           That’s it.  That’s the session.  In case you were wondering, I REFUSE to do it.  Not enough money on earth. 

            That level of obsession and objectification is one step away from murdering a girl and cutting her head off so that he can take it home with him and do it FOR REAL.  He gives of creepy-creepy-creepy vibes, too.  He does not pass for normal. 

            In my overall experience in this industry, what do the creepiest of the creeps–meaning, the most transparently sick-and-pushy-about-it–tend to have in common…?  I’d say: an obsession with their unresolved incest trauma histories, an inability to see women as human (should’ve been a huge red flag for the Surgeon, but, what can I say), and the sort of mental illness that turns hostile and outwards, whereas most perfectly decent mentally ill people focus on themselves and hurt the others around them only incidentally. 

8 thoughts on “Reader Mailbag: Creepiest Client?”

  1. Hi Miss Margo,

    I saw a British series on Netflix, I forget the name. Gillian Anderson, the actress from X-Files was in it as a detective in Belfast tracking a serial killer. He killed, then washed, made up, and posed his victims. Sounds like this client.

    I remember that White Dress post. You didn’t mention that it was his daughter’s confirmation dress. Now I’m kind of glad you never finished that story.


    1. Yeah, I saw Suburban South Jersey Dad put the dress away in a chest in front of me after I took it off. There was also a framed portrait of his daughter wearing it in Church on the wall.

      I would not have done the session had I known that it involved incest-ish age play. When we schedule it, he just said that he wanted me to wear a dress and go out in public and then do corporal punishment. The session was an ugly surprise.

      What I want to know is: how old was his daughter at the time of the session? Still approx 14? Or a grown woman? AND: did he beat her the way that he beat me, or was a proxy for fantasy fulfillment?

    1. Can’t say that I blame you.

      There are so many more, Dawn. I sometimes wonder what I’ve done to myself…but I’ve (mostly) lived by de Sade’s motto that a person is not complete until they have had every experience.

  2. With potentially dangerous creepy-creeps like #5, do you think the sessions give him an outlet to help him keep control so he doesn’t proceed along the spectrum toward serial murder? It’s a huge mystery why some people like that never cross the line, and others do.

    1. Good question, Anne, but, really, I don’t know…

      Some people say that prostitutes help prevent rape by providing an “outlet” for sexually frustrated men, but I never bought that. If it really worked that way, there would be far fewer rapes.

      Creepy-creep #5…? I haven’t spent enough time with him one-on-one (thank God), but I think that he fantasizes about doing this to a dead girl…but he has enough sanity, and sense of self-preservation (and, heck, maybe even morality and empathy, why short-change the bastard if I don’t know him) not to do it. His session costs at least $700. He is weird, but he is getting money from somewhere. He is probably employed. So, he can keep his shit together, at least somewhat.

      Sorry…this isn’t a very good answer to your question.

      Ultimately…? If he really wanted to do it, he’d do it. What people do in the end is what they intended to do all along. He is middle-aged. If he was going to kill a girl and use her body…he would have done it by now.

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