Timewaster of the Year: HK Jackass

      Clients, take heed: this is a story of how not to conduct oneself!

      Break out your popcorn, 8 readers!  Time for a rant!  And I know you doodz love rants!  It gives all you subs instant boners, I know it does! 

       Manager was late getting to the Studio, so I was standing outside with my fat-free hot chocolate, freezing my balls off like one of Napoleon’s soldiers.  

       (I did see a Golden Retriever puppy wearing cute red rubber booties.  That was nice.  Oh boy, what a lovable dog, I got to pet him.) 

       Manager arrived and we took the elevator up and started to turn on all the lights and computers.

       Not five minutes later, there’s someone ringing the buzzer.

       We thought it was another mistress.  Had to be.  We weren’t even open for business yet.  So, we buzzed the person up.

         It was a man.  Without a reservation.  WTF. 

         I can’t even call him a client.  Miss Margo Christians thee “Time-Wasting Jackass from Hong Kong,” or “HK Jackass” for short.

          Normally, we’d ask him to come back later, but HK Jackass wanted an extended two- or three-hour session.  That’s a lot of money.  We can’t say no to that business.  

          The manager did not even have time to hang up her parka.  I wasn’t wearing a lick of makeup.  My hair wasn’t done.  I was carrying a plastic shopping bag with my breakfast of pineapple and an energy drink.  My intention had been to shower and shave immediately upon arrival.  No time for that!  I gave myself a birdbath with a wet soapy washcloth and started to spackle on the whoreface (dungeon slang for “apply full makeup”).  

         He spoke with the manager again.  He said that he wanted to see me…which was just as well, since I was the only one working. 

         “What are we going to do for the session?  What’s he into?” I asked.

         “I’m not sure yet.  I think latex fetish.”

         I groaned.  It was all I could do not to start knocking my forehead against the wall like my pet parrot knocks her beak on my bookcases.  

         Latex is a huge pain in the ass.  It’s not my thing, so I only have one very simple outfit of a skirt, halter top, and opera-length gloves…but even still, we’re talking at least 25 minutes to get dressed and shine it up.  

        “Let me go talk to him again, and then you can meet him in consultation and go over the particulars,” she said.

         She went in the room, and he held her hostage for at least half an hour, asking about other girls and when they would be in and the details of their fetish wardrobes.  It was unbelievable.  The manager still hadn’t taken her parka off.  I couldn’t relax, jump into the shower to shave my legs, or even start curling my hair or getting dressed in my rubber outfit, because he hadn’t formally booked the session and coughed up the cash.  

          Eventually, the manager came out and told me to get dressed.  He’d decided to stay and session with me.  Two hours.  And I had a pre-existing booking with a good regular in one hour, forty-five minutes, so the pressure was on me to get in there ASAP.

       I dressed as quickly as possible and went to talk to him.  

        When I entered the room, he was standing by the door with his coat on, luggage in hand. 

          “You know, I’m in a hurry right now.  Busy.  I’ll come back later,” he said. 


        If I’d held a gun in my hand, I would have shot him dead.  On the spot.

         You are in a hurry, but you had an hour to waste with the manager, and two or three hours to spend in a session (or so you said)?

         (And–pop quiz!–do you think he ever came back? If you guessed NO, you’d be right!) 

          We escorted him to the elevator.  I peeled off my latex and took a shower.  Then I had to reapply my makeup.  My pineapple was warm.  So was my energy drink.  I was exhausted and fed up, and it was only 1 PM.   

        Clients: please do not be like HK Jackass.  Please, please please pretty please.


7 thoughts on “Timewaster of the Year: HK Jackass”

  1. Two hypotheses.


    a) A typical member of the Chinese Communist Party – all mouth and trousers


    b) A 24-carat latex fetishist who wanted you in a shiny black catsuit, gasmask, and rubber waders

    1. Hi Tony;

      Not sure what “mouth and trousers” means. Is it the equivalent of “All hat, no cattle?” As in, a fraud from the get-go?

      I honestly think that’s the case. He just came in cause he was bored–probably couldn’t check into his hotel yet–and and wanted to see and talk to the pretty ladies.

      If he was a serious rubber fetishist, he would have booked ahead of time to ensure he saw a domme who could have accommodated his kink.

      This guy was just a pain in the ass.

  2. Hello Margo!

    I fetched the popcorn and as you promised it was a beautiful rant! Despite the not so good outcome I hope the day turned out not as bad!
    Nevertheless I wish you a merry new year 2014!


  3. Whatta TWUNT! I hate to say it, but even being a non pro Domme, I get time-wasters left and right. I think its endemic in the submissive male. They love you, you’re gorgeous, you’re the best thing since sliced bread and canned milk, they can’t wait to submit to you, oh the things they will do for you, and then, when its finally time to meet…….**POOF** In the local dungeon, we call the “Granola Slaves” because once you’re done with the fruits and the nuts, all that’s left are the flakes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.