Making the Money

    I taught at the tutoring center and then had THREE sessions at the Studio today.  Then an AA meeting.

      Stick a fork in me, man.  

      My first student expressed displeasure that her low mathematics scores on the GRE were negatively affecting her numbers and possibly prohibiting her entrance into the grad programs of her choice.


        “I took the GRE twice,” I told her.  I was trying to be supportive.  “My first math score was unacceptable, so I hired a tutor and tried again a month later, with better results.”  

         She glared at me.

         “That’s what I’m hiring you for!” she yelled. 

          Note: I’m not tutoring her in math. 

          Then…three sessions!  Two of them were over an hour, too!

          The first: publishing biz exec going through painful divorce.  He is a pretty nice human being.  I don’t know if I’d want to be married to him, but I think one could definitely do worse.  He is very appreciative and acts like no woman has laid a hand on him in the last five years, which is probably close to the truth.

         “Oh my god!  You’re so much fun!  This is so much fun!” he exclaimed, as if it was Disney Land.  That was very flattering to my ego, actually.  We talked about Pitcairn Island and the mutiny on the Bounty.  

         Next: English gent, blond, probably my best client this month thus far.  Oh, was he well-mannered!  Impeccably polite.  I put a blue collar on him because it matched his eyes, and made him trot to and fro in the hallways for the amusement of myself and the other mistresses.  

        Then I tied him to a post.  Not unlike St. Sebastian. 

        “Where in England are you from, if you don’t mind me asking?”

        “The far north, close to the border.”

         “The border of Scotland…?  Around Hadrian’s Wall…?” (I want to see Hadrian’s Wall so badly!)

       He said yes.

       He took a shower afterward and when I was leading him out, he paused and asked me into a corner.

        “In the U.S., is it customary to tip the mistress if you enjoy the session…?  Sorry that I’m inexperienced in this regard.”

        “Yes, but a tip is not obligatory.”  

         He took out his wallet and gave me $150.  He also complimented me on the session and said it was one of the best he’s ever had. 

      wheeeee wheeeeee party party party!!!!!!!  I wuv you, English man!  And I don’t think less of you even though you got a degree in FINANCE.  

        “I never thought I could get a forced orgasm and talk about Hadrian’s Wall with a Yank!” he said.   “Thanks!”

          Then I cleaned the room and went to the locker room and took a nap.  I was pretty spent.  

         To be continued.  I need to curl up with Parrot and fluffy pillow.  

2 thoughts on “Making the Money”

  1. FYI Hadrian’s Wall is not that impressive as walls go. It’s not as if it was on a par with the great wall of China.

    Still, if the Scots get their independence from the UK in the upcoming referendum, they’ll need to rebuild it to keep out all those English refugees from the vicious Chicago School-inspired assaults on everything that used to make England a tolerable place in which to live.

    1. Yeah, I know the wall is very modest. I’d mostly like to see it out of intellectual curiosity.

      I am surprised that some foreign power has not somehow flattened the University of Chicago, just on general principle.

      They never give up. The economists were quiet for about two years after 2008, when they had to admit they were WRONG and they’d screwed it up (and oh god, were the people in my discipline gloating)…but they’re unsinkable rubber ducks.

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