Reader Mailbag: Hard Limits and Suspension

Update:  The previous post about the Bad Client to Avoid received a lot of hits (well, by my humble blog standards).  If you’re linking to it, please continue.  This man is BAD NEWS.     

 “Do you do suspension?”
                          –random internet stranger

       Where the heck are all you new people coming from?  I’m very flattered that you like my blog enough to read it and ask questions, but I can’t figure out where all this new traffic is coming from.

      What do you mean, exactly?  Do you mean, can I rig it?  Or do I enjoy being in it?

     Both, actually, although my rigging skills are rudimentary and I do western bondage instead of shibari.  I can get you up there, though.  The skill fascinates me and I’d love to become more proficient, but there’s not much motivation to pursue it professionally because clients almost never ask for it.  They’re on the clock, you see, and intricate bondage takes time; cuffs or police restraints are much faster.  Furthermore, the rope fetishists seem to seek out prodommes who specialize in that (I’ve heard from three gentlemen in the last month who’ve seen Troy Orleans, and they rave about her). 

      Recently, I’ve learned rope skills from Erin Houdini (isn’t that a great stage name?).  Highly recommended, and her instruction is affordable. 

     I enjoy being in rope and I like suspensions.  Heinrich put me in partial and full inversions over Abduction Weekend.  He was impressed with my stamina, which is a huge compliment, coming from him (he’s very experienced).  Hard bondage like that is challenging, though.  It gets serious in a hurry.  Oh wow, does it hurt.  The key, I find, is relaxing into it.  I try to imagine myself as a bean bag collapsing into the rope.  

      “Do you have a professional website where I could contact you?”
                                                  –Random Internet Stranger

      I sincerely appreciate it, and lord knows I’d like the business, but…if I had a website, I wouldn’t tell you about it. 

     A session request would have to be very lucrative for me to accept from a (known) reader of my blog.  It’s not out of the question, but my policy is not to meet clients that are blog readers.  My blog content is diverse in scope, but much of it is extremely intimate, which makes me feel, perhaps incorrectly, that clients I’d meet through here have a higher potential to be…well, stalker-ey.  Nor do I want anyone to associate this blog with my face.  That would be a security breech.

     There’s also a pretty serious information asymmetry involved in meeting a blog reader, and that makes me uncomfortable. 

       I’m happy to meet women (for friendship)!

      “Have you been married?”

       Nope.  Not even close.  Been proposed to twice, though. 

      “What are your hard limits?”

       As a top: I really don’t care for medical play.  I can do some of it, but it’s not my thing.  

       I will say, though, that I was amazed by the power rush I experienced when I catheterized someone for the first time.  It made me feel very powerful.  I never saw it coming.  I’m feeling tingly right now just thinking of it.  

      That is probably what the Surgeon feels when he opens up bodies.  He loves to operate.  Loves it.  And he’s very good. 

      I can’t do racial or religious humiliation.  I’m too much of a polite guilty liberal, I guess.  I won’t pretend to be a Nazi or white supremacist.  I seldom allow any form of body worship aside from my feet because it feels too intimate and I don’t like to be touched by strangers.  There are exceptions, though.  If a client is cool and trust has been established, I can be more generous in that regard. 

      I don’t care for tease-and-denial with a man off the street.  I suck at it.  I’m not naturally flirtatious.  I’m very up-front, and if I want a man, I just tell him that.  And…it feels degrading to me to pretend to be crazy attracted to a man if I’m really not.  I can be sweet and friendly but I can’t stand coming on hard to men I’m not honestly attracted to.  That’s one reason why the prospect of stripping last summer, when I was financially desperate, stressed me out so badly.  Because that’s what strippers so: exhibitionism, tease and denial, and emotional management of drunk men.  And pretending that they enjoy getting sexually harassed.  SOUNDS LIKE FUN! WHERE CAN I SIGN UP? barf barf barf barf.  God, my stripper sisters, you earn every time…

     I am not an exhibitionist.  Any public play must be very discreet.  Shoe shopping or clothes/lingerie shopping is fun, though.  And I like going to dinner and having something divine to eat, and making the man eat toast.  Ha!  And then the waiter (it’s best if the server is a man) brings the check and presents it to the man, and I snatch it up and say, “I’ll take that!  I don’t let him have any money.”  Ha!

     I won’t force-feed anyone.  That makes me feel very emotionally unwell. 

    Incest role-play.  Won’t do that.  Age play, likewise.

    I don’t do breath play professionally, but I do like it in personal relationships.  

    I’ll keep my hard limits as a sub to myself.  That’s very private. 

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