This is a scary photo of Parrot.  I was eating a salad at my desk when she flew in, landed in front of me, and snatched at my food.  It was a complete surprise.  

When I look at that photo, I remind myself that if I was only 2 inches tall, Parrot would kill my ass.  She really would.  Look at that beak and those Jurassic Park dinosaur feet.  The unblinking, bead-like eye.  

     I think that Parrot has emotions (at least a few emotions, anyway)…but she is not a mammal.  Sometimes, such as when I look at this picture, I get a feeling about how strange and non-mammal she truly is.  

     I do love her, though. 
      The Mathematician, playing squash.  It’s fun to watch. It’s a pretty macho sport for a math geek.  I couldn’t do it.  I am much too uncoordinated.  

      He’s quite handsome in an understated sort of way.  The first time I met him I thought that he was a nice-looking fellow, but not really my type.  The more time I spent with him…I liked his looks more and more.  He has an open face that shows his emotions.  He doesn’t look sly.  

     He surprised me with a new Sonicare toothbrush because my old one finally bit the dust.  Nice, huh?  
     It works great! 

     If you don’t have a Sonicare toothbrush, you should go get one!  You should get one without delay!  It makes brushing fun!  For real! 

wow!  new Sonicare toothbrush!
old sonicare toothbrush.  You served me well, old friend, but it’s time to go out behind the barn…
   Hotel rooms…oh, hotel rooms I have known.

   I’m starting my new job.  If I am exposed, I have no doubt that I will be terminated. 

    The Mathematician is coming over soon.  I just returned from a session with a Greek bodybuilder.  No, I’m not making that up.  

      He was scared to death.  He said that it was his first session with a domme.  I believe him.  

      He did very well.  I told him that halfway through and then at the end, as I gathered my tools: “You did very well.  You took a lot of pain.  I know many masos who couldn’t take what you just took.”

      I remember touching the welts on his skin.  I counted eight of them.  At first there were four on one side and only one on the other, so after counting them and kneading them with my hand, I took it upon myself to even them up.  To make them symmetrical. Four on both side.  I like order.  I like structure.  

     I knew that he would appreciate that.  He likes structure, too.  I knew that he could only get the body he has through the practice of discipline.  Repetition.  Obsession.  I understood.

       I’m a switch, and definitely a masochist.  I crave terrible violence.  

     But I would feel very sad, and very incomplete, if I never got to dominate and beat a man again.  I’m not a true domme, not like some of the other women at the studio, like C. or Kas…but it is a part of my sexuality.  I am capable of sadism.  I enjoy it.  I’m good at it. I like splashing around in it.  It’s not an accident that I ended up in my Secret Job. 

      What will I do without it?  

View from NYC Hotel Room

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