Gratitude and Thoughts on the Biz

    This is so sad that I can’t stand it.  I wish I could snatch that girl up and take her to live with me. The film looks excellent, and I’m sure I’ll watch it, but I have no idea how I could sit through the whole thing without sobbing.  

      I am really a very lucky woman.  I have so much to be grateful for.  The women in that video would do anything to have a life like mine.  I have choices.  I have autonomy.  I have a future that is unwritten.  I can do what I want.  Those women don’t have choices. 

     I don’t talk about politics and the sex industry because my opinion about that simply isn’t worth anything.  My experience in it is not representative.  I have the good sense to be humble and appreciative of that fact.  

      I’ll share a little of my opinion now, because that video clip just broke my heart.  This is probably the first and last time I’ll make a peep about it. 

      I conceive of the sex industry as being a pyramid.  At the very top of the pyramid are the sex industry workers like myself.  Women like myself constitute the tiniest percentage of people in the industry.  I am really at the top: I have never done anything illegal.  I have never been forced to do anything.  I have never done anything which could make me sick or diseased. The place where I work is clean and safe, and I can come and go as I please.  Society does not approve of the profession, but it is less stigmatized than just about every other type of job within the pyramid, with the possible exception of Playboy-type nude glamor modeling.  I am paid very well for my services.  I have seen and done things that I found distasteful, but most of the time it is interesting and even fun–I get something out of it.  And I am strictly a part-timer.  For me, this really is a choice.  

       I’m at the very top of the pyramid.  

       There is nowhere to go but down. 

       That Indian girl in the video is at the bottom, along with…how many others?  A few hundred million, probably?  

        She is a slave.  There is not a person on earth who would trade places with her.  Certainly no man.  The most oppressed sweatshop worker in the world would not trade places with her.  Maybe a person dying of hunger in Africa would.  Think about that. 

      It makes me angry when I hear educated women (usually white)  who are at the very top of the pyramid make arguments that sex work is feminist and empowering.  I want to scream at them: maybe it is for you, you self-centered ninny, but what about everyone else?  Once you finish your “I choose my choice!” sermon and send the book you wrote about your six-month career as a stripper before you started grad school off to the publisher, you could take a look at the world around you.  Take a look at how most of the women in the sex industry actually live.  Tell that Indian girl in the clip that what she does is feminist because the men are the ones paying her.  Yeah, right.  

       That is why I will never defend any part of the sex industry.  What I do is not sad or wrong, but most of the rest of it is.  I think that the most graceful thing a woman in my position can do is be grateful for what we have. 

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