A Swirly for Milton

 UPDATE 9:50

       Well, we gave Milton a swirly, and damned if I wasn’t the one who took the lead and hauled him into the bathroom and flushed the toilet.  I was pretty aggravated with the guy by that point, so I grabbed him by the back of the head and pressed it down into the water.  No crown-of-the-hair-swirlys here!  Only true, deep swirlys will suffice!  

       Well, cross that off my Bucket List (kidding!  Kidding!).  

        When I finished with him, the shift was changing, and I saw a few night-shift girls in the lounge.  I told them what I’d just done.  

       One of them, A., asked for graphic details and the name of the movie.  A. is younger than I am and extremely intelligent.  She has a grad degree and is a hardcore libertarian.  She also had a great sense of humor.  And she’s got a feel for these guys–I have one too, but hers is different.  I like her a lot, but she usually works nights, so I don’t see her very often.  

      A. said, “There’s more to this than meets the eye.  Nobody is this focused on a recreation of a film or drama scene unless they are some sort of psycho.”  

       I didn’t get it.  

       She tapped on her laptop.  

        She brought up the trailer for the film Slaughter High.  

 Okay…well then.  A murder-revenge film where Milton murders all the bullies who tormented him…

    Suddenly, the entire scenario I just reenacted with Milton is bathed in a particularly unlovely light.

    So weird.  So, so weird.

    Ummm….in other news, Awesome Guy who took me to Brooks Brothers a few weeks ago took me to lunch yesterday (we had oysters last week, too.  I have an unfinished blog entry about that).  He is a very caring person.  I could be wrong–lord knows I’ve been wrong before–but that is the impression I get.  I like him a lot.  He is not like most of the men I meet.

     He seems pretty conservative (not necessarily politically), but he also knows what I do, and seems interested in me anyway.  This is unusual.  I have almost never dated clients–there was the Surgeon, and I tossed out my boundaries for the Attorney.  The Surgeon had me on a sort of retainer for a long time before things became…emotional.

        My point is that he is interested in spending time with me and getting to know me.  I haven’t been around that in a long time–almost a year, I think.

         That’s all I can write for now; I have to go.

          Has anyone else been enjoying FLEET WEEK?!?!?!?  

           I have no intention of cruising the town and picking up drunk Dudebros in Navy uniforms, but damned if they are not fun to look at!  Where, oh where, are the officers hanging out?  Is that an order, Sir? haaahahahaha

            Thank You, Fleet Week visiting sailors, for making my commute and evening errands more fun-filled!
                              *                             *                         * 

   Hi to my 8 readers!

     Someone sent me a concerned email, so I wanted to check in and let everyone know that I am, in fact, alive.  

     I have some interesting updates, which I’ll try to get to later this evening once I get out of the Studio.  

     At the moment, however, I’m sitting in the back lounge waiting for my call to take part is what has to be the most preposterous roll-play session I have ever been asked to do.  

     In NYC, there is a huge t-shirt wearing dork named Milton.  I don’t think Milton his real name, but whatever.  He comes in and wastes everyone’s time and has us watch the first 7 minutes of the illustrious 1986 film, Slaughter High, in which an unpopular nerd is lured into the High School locker room by a beautiful cheerleader who promises to have sex with him.  The cheerleader turns off the lights and encourages Milton to undress.  While the lights are off, a ton of other student sneak in the room.  

      When Milton is undressed, the cheerleader turns on the lights and everyone mocks and jeer Milton, shouting (unbelievably): “April Fool’s!  Where’s the beef?  Where’s the beef?  April Fool’s!”

      Then we give him a swirly.  

      I have never given someone a swirly, but if anyone I know deserves one right now, it’s this guy.  He’s a spaz.  Like, he got here over two hours ago.  He has been monopolizing everyone’s time and asking inappropriate questions.   

      And with that, I’ve got to put this away–you’ll hear from me soon.

       Right now, it’s SHOWTIME!


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