I’ve done a lot of campaign work in my life.  Something I read whilst checking my emails today reminded me of this blog-worth event…

     Back in the day, when I was a freshly-minted politics junkie, it was election season and I was working my ass off for Ralph Nader.  

     I wanted a Nader sign to display, but the Nader campaign was not exactly flush with cash, so I had to pay for the sign out of pocket (and what shallow and threadbare pockets they were in 2000…fuck me, some things never change!).  Anyway, I buy it, sign arrives, I put it up, yadda yadda…

     Turns out, I helped to paint the house I was living in.  I moved the Nader sign while I was painting.  In the course of painting, the sign got a drip of paint on it.  I didn’t see this till after the fact.  

      Painting accomplished, I put the sign back up.

      A few days later, it was gone!  SOMEONE STOLE MY NADER SIGN!

      Well, shit happens.  I assumed the thief was some right-winger.  I was confused about why they’d be threatened enough by Nader to steal his sign, since Nader posed, umm, el zilcho threat to political life in that area, but whatever.  

      A week or two later, I was walking around my neighborhood, and saw a Ralph Nader sign on the front lawn of a house!  I did a double-take (Nader signs were, ahh, very unusual where I lived).  Holy shit!  A fellow Naderite!  

     Then I looked closer.

      There was a paint splatter on the sign, and it was identical to the paint dripped on my sign!  There, on the sidewalk, in that college neighborhood, I quailed in agony!  The shame, the shame, the Awful Truth!

     I was the victim of liberal on liberal crime!


  1. IMO this is actually an example of “Naderite-On-Naderite” crime. Your truly selfless and dedicated act of buying your very own Nader sign coupled with the thief’s self aware and premeditated pilferage of value is the embodiment of Ralph himself, no?

    Wonderful ideals coupled with the doomed effort that increasingly fractured liberal Democratic solidarity each successive time he decided to run?

  2. ARGH the agony! I plead guilty, Avo! It is pretty hilarious when one looks at the story as a metaphor. It is perfect actually.

    I was very young at the time–my first election. I thought for certain that Bush would never get it–I expected him to win my state, but the presidency? REALLY? I thought I’d help Nader get enough votes to qualify for funding, and Gore would be POTUS, and we’d win both the battle and the war (proverbial wars being all there was at the time…remember when foreign policy was BORING?) NEVER MIND! Joke’s on me!

    Joke was on all of us, really…

    Water under the bridge now–but can you imagine how much things would be different if Gore had won…? God, the treasure and the blood we’ve squandered.

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