Employment Problems Solved!!!

     Jesus, just kidding.
     Found this gem of an ad while perusing the local CraigsList jobs ads…shoot me now.
     (I want to be very clear–I AM NOT going to write this girl’s paper for her.)

     I like the way our fearless little scholar includes her email address in the ad and offers the writer “an extra $20 if I get an A.”

     But seriously–WTF?  4 pages, double-spaced?  I know Kant and Sartre aren’t exactly your boyfriend’s copies of Maxim magazine, but I know that any university course that assigned a paper like this didn’t hurl a copy of Being and Nothingness at your head and scream at you to “Figure it out!”

      I’ve practically taught this course. I think your professor stood up there and presented, via PowerPoint, Kant and Sartre’s “views” on freedom in nice, neat bullet points!  I think that she stood over each one of her tattooed, spikey-haired, pajama-ed little students like a big momma Robin, trying to drop big fat juicy worms of Kant&Sartre factoids into their little mouths!  Why didn’t you get a worm or two, Nicole?  Surely not because you’ve been skipping class, right?
      You know, Nicole, you still have DAYS to write this little essay, most of which could be straight paraphrase and regurgitation–you only need to formulate and proffer an opinion towards the end.  Maybe you could take this time and go ask Professor Momma Robin, or her TA, for some tasty worms, instead of someone off the internet.
     Barring that, you could just look this shit up on wikipedia and summarize it yourself.  It would be a crap paper, but it would pass.  Just don’t cheat–be sure to paraphrase or put quotation marks around citations.

Write a Philosophy Paper – $50 (New Brunswick)

Date: 2011-10-05, 10:39PM EDT
Reply to: 
nicole_12909@xxxxxxxxxx [Errors when replying to ads?]

I’m having a very difficult time writing this paper so I’m asking anyone who’s good at philosophy to help me out. Due Tuesday 10/11, a 4 page, double spaced (Times New Roman, 12 pt) paper on the views of Sartre and Kant on freedom. Basically, you explain each philosopher’s view on freedom and then choose a side and support it. Let me know if you have any questions and thank you so much for the help! 
·         Location: New Brunswick
·         Compensation: $50 for writing the paper, and an extra $20 if I get an A
·         Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
·         Please, no phone calls about this job!
·         Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

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