Update Oct 6 12:30 PM:
Oh yeah…one more thing I remember about this twerp…
Check out this spectacular mansplaination…!
In the getting-to-know-you consultation, he happily expressed (bragged, actually, but I don’t begrudge him that–anyone should be proud of getting a job interview) that he’d just finished a B.S. in Mathematics and interviewed for a job interview at a bank.
He obviously wanted to talk about it, so I asked: “What’s the position? Calculating algorithms for market predictions, or what?”
Still smiling, he put his hand on my knee, and said (and I swear I am not making this up): “No. You see, in Mathematics we design things called models that use statistics and software programs.”
What a clown.
It’s okay. The money I took from him was twice as expensive as his suit.
* * *
I had a sub session with a jerk who tried to bully me with money and play a game of chicken with me insofar as the pain was concerned.
“I’m going to go harder,” he said. “You can either safe out and ask me to stop, or ask me for more money. I’ll keep tipping you if you can take it.”
Nice way to try to make me “earn it,” fucktard. You couldn’t just come to me like a man, negotiating in good faith, and tell me how hard you wanted to cruise.
Well, color me unimpressed. Put your money where your mouth is.
Never mind. Beat you to it.
Most of the marks will be gone by tomorrow. Your incompetency with the cane left a few welts from the wrap-around, but that’s all right with me. A small price to pay for dashing your conception of yourself as a Big Scary Sadist. Thought I’d safe out, didn’t you…?
You’re a freshly minted B.A., or so you claim. I believe it. In town for a job interview as a financial services creature. I believe that, too.
Pro-tip: $50 at a decent tailor’s shop will make a cheap suit look and fit much better (take it from an adjunct slave college professor). You look like you were going to shoot an episode of Judge Judy. If you were not such a misogynist douchebag, I’d take you out for ice cream and teach you all sorts of things. Starting with proper caning technique.
Whatevs. I still got your $400, jerk. And guess what else: I photocopied your ID when I processed your credit card payment (and a curse on you for paying with a card. I won’t see that money for weeks!). If you try to reverse the charges, you are going to be a very unhappy young man.
|Thanks for the wraparound, jackass.|