When I Went Back (V)

I agreed to sleep in bed with him, before it all happened. He promised me that he wouldn’t pressure me for sex or even touch me if I didn’t want him to–he just wanted to lay in the bed with me.

Naturally I was skeptical–for a man to sleep in bed with a woman he’s attracted to and not try to initiate sex with her is very difficult. But I thought, let’s test him. I also wanted it. That constitutes an admission.

We both wore clothes. Normally we sleep nude. He had the PJs he wears when his sons visit, and I wore a tank top and shorts. He spooned me and it made me feel small. He also had a boner, which of course I felt, but he was as good as his word.

I’m so self-contained, you know–like I don’t need anyone for anything…? But sometimes the body craves contact. Nobody touches me.

The next day, I agreed to have sex with him. After dinner–as usual, a delicious meal! Pork loin. People in his country eat a lot of pork. I declined the bathtub but we went to his bedroom, and that is when he attacked me.

I don’t mean attacked like “RAAWR! I have you in my clutches, you sexy beast!” Not where everyone is having fun, and one partner is just pouncing on the other.

Attacked.

He did not even wait for us to get undressed. I was wearing a dress. And it hurt, because my body was not ready to be penetrated. I tried to push him off of me but of course I couldn’t, he’s much too strong. He was hitting me, and we did not agree to any BDSM activity. He punched me. He’d never hit me with a closed fist EVER.

I yelled, “You’re hurting me!”

He screamed back, “I’m hurting YOU? You hurt me! You hurt my son! If you ever hurt me like that again, I’ll kill you!”

After it was over, he was sorry immediately. IMMEDIATELY. And I just lay there like a clubbed fucking fish.

“Margo, it will never happen again. I am so sorry. I never did anything like this in my life. Do not be afraid of me. It will never happen again.”

I left 48 hours later, and I’ve been running ever since.