After a few days of reflection, I just HAD to post about this one…
So I’m at the grocery store, and I see an ugly ceramic owl pot-pant. It was ugly, but it was an owl, so I had to have it.
I picked it up and realized I did not have a basket. So, I put the owl down by the rotisserie chickens and BBQ and ran outside for a basket. I was only gone for 30 seconds. AT MOST.
When I came back, so crazy old jerkola had MY OWL in her shopping cart!
“Excuse me, Madam, that’s my owl,” I said. “I just left it there so I could get a cart.”
“If you wanted it, you shouldn’t have put it down!”
A confrontation ensued. Did I mention this thing was $8.99? I am officially a crazy lady at the grocery store fighting over something useless.
Eventually, I SNATCHED IT OUT OF HER CART and ran away with it. She did not pursue, presumably because I appeared to be batshit insane.
I told The Collector, and he thought it was hilarious.
Something else: he calls me a witch (not in the derogatory sense). He says I enchanted him and I enchanted men for a living, sexually. Recently, he went to a “psychic” by Purple Passion. He said, “I’ve never done this before because it’s not my thing. I don’t believe in it. But, I wanted to ask a real witch what I should get the new little witch in my life.”
Dunno what it is yet, but I’ll get it soon.