How He Would Punish Me

We were laying together in bed, sitting up on the pillows, in a hotel in Copenhagen. It was about 9 AM, and he’d already fucked me.

“When the time comes,” I ventured timidly, “How will you punish me…?”

“Punish, or discipline?  They’re two separate things, you know.”

(They are.  Discipline is control with respect.  It’s positive and intended to better improve the individual, even if it hurts.  It’s what they do in the military (at least, in a good and competent military).  It’s what teachers do to children in school.

Punishment is deliberate cruelty and vengeance, even if it’s just.)

“Punish,” I said.  I was afraid to ask, but I had to know.  I was starting to tremble.  Everything in my body was tense, and I was getting excited.

“Suspend privileges.  Take away your use of furniture; make you sleep in the kitchen on the floor without a blanket.  Corner time, so that you may ruminate on your infractions. Beating you in a way you could not process.  It would not be pleasant.  Making you wear something humiliating in public.

…Is this arousing to you…?”

(I’d started to rub myself under the blankets.)

“I can’t help it,” I said.  I was ashamed, but the longing was very strong.  My eyes were suddenly full of water and I was salivating.  When I swallowed, it hurt.  The sex drive is deep; primordial.

“I want to see it,” he said, and threw off the bedding to expose me. His voice was calm and authoritative.  He knew exactly what he was doing.  “Don’t stop.”

“Please, X.  Please don’t hurt me from inside.”  I spoke his name.

“The only thing that I like even more than the sound of my name in your mouth is when you beg me.”

Crying, now.  Not sobbing, but all the water was leaking from my eyes.  The emotion was building; impending. It felt like standing in a river.  It felt like standing in the water at the ocean, when the wave sucks the sand out from around your feet.  It felt like vertigo.

“I want you to come for me,” he said.

I did.  It was almost involuntary.

Smirking, he got out of bed and looked down at me.

“I just made you come with the power of my words.  Imagine what I could do to hurt you.”

“You won’t have to.  I will obey you in all things.”

He nodded.  “For your sake, I hope you do.”


4 thoughts on “How He Would Punish Me”

  1. A question: You tell him he won’t have to hurt you because you will be obedient. But punishment does is not administered just because of (in this example) a failure to obey. It can always be administered “just because”, for cruelty if not vengeance. No?

    And perfect obedience doesn’t mean you cannot be improved, for which the tool would be discipline.

    And finally, as a masochist, would you actually want your complete obedience to “deprive” you of suffering?

    1. Hi Jason;

      Complicated questions. I’ll do my best.

      A question: You tell him he won’t have to hurt you because you will be obedient. But punishment does is not administered just because of (in this example) a failure to obey. It can always be administered “just because”, for cruelty if not vengeance. No?

      The Tops I’ve served do enjoy administering violence at their discretion, whether I’ve disobeyed or not. So, yes, he could do it whenever he wants. It does not change the crucial distinction between punishment and discipline, unless you want to make a third category, which is violence for the hell of it. Most of the time, though, I personally experience violence as desirable and mutual fun, which probably falls under discipline….I guess. I guess you are right: there’s a third category.

      I promise you I’ll give this a lot of thought.

      And finally, as a masochist, would you actually want your complete obedience to “deprive” you of suffering?

      Great question. It really is, so thank you for asking it.

      I could not be with a dominant who would not beat me. Control is important, but it’s not enough. Pain is how I experience transcendence and sexual gratification. I can’t account for it, really, but that’s the way my sexuality is. I’ve always been this way.

      This is a complete difference, though, in, say, getting spanked by a man who wants to give you pleasure, and because it’s fun…and getting beat in a way you won’t enjoy it, when he’s hostile and out to hurt you. Even if you submit, willingly, to both experiences, the experiences are totally different.

      Thanks for reading and thanks for the food for thought.

      Miss Margo

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