Client Warning: Tale of the Bad Domme

This post is about something that has been bothering me for a long time.  I’ve never discussed it with anyone but other dommes at the Studio, but I want to write about it because I think it’s important for clients to know what’s out there.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, because I have a 19-year-old client I’ve decided to re-book with.  He LOOKS about 17.  I knew he was young, because he described himself as an undergrad in his emails, but I didn’t know how young.  When I opened the door, I couldn’t believe it!

“How old are you, son?” I asked, when he came inside.

(Interesting note: for once, I was not remotely afraid of a new client, even though, statistically, this guy was almost the top demographic for male violent behavior.  I felt like I wanted to take him out for ice cream.)

“My birthday was last week.  This is my birthday gift to myself.  19!”

I asked for ID.

“How do I know you’re not a cop?”  He was so nervous that he was trembling all over.  He had a buzzcut, light brown hair, and big eyes with thick long camel’s eyelashes (why do men always get the best hair and eyelashes?  Why?)

“It doesn’t matter, because what you’re asking for isn’t illegal,” I said, which is technically true but also bullshit because the police have an “arrest-em-all-and-let-the-judge-sort-em-out” mentality.  Then I opened the suitcase by the bed to display my gear, which, in retrospect, was probably not a good thing to do to a novice like him.  It probably looked like a freaky-deaky torture chest.  “Do you think the cops are carrying around a thousand dollars’ worth of SM equipment?”

He was so nervous that I offered him a drink from the minibar–he had two rums and Coke.  It’s something I do automatically for all clients; I forgot he was too young to legally drink!  Perversely, this is what I feel the most guilty about…giving liquor to a minor!  I’d hate to encourage a kid to get a habit that becomes a problem, like mine.

We did the session.  It was simple: a little tease and denial, clothed female naked male, very light bondage, and some spanking (no marks, nothing very heavy).  He came three times.  The first two times were involuntary, lol.   He was really embarrassed by that, but I just found it amusing.  The stamina teenagers have, WOW!  I don’t have a lot of experience with young men…just a few.  Even when I was his age, I was almost exclusively attracted to much older men, so this was an almost-novel experience for me.

Well, he wanted to book another session with me, and I thought long and hard about it.  I don’t want to be responsible for corrupting the youth!  PLEEZE PASS THE HEMLOCK (I am not seriously comparing myself to Socrates.  Just trying to make a joke.)

But then I thought: If he doesn’t see me, he’ll choose another, and who knows what he’s going to get?  At least I can…keep him safe, and give him a quality experience within his boundaries.  A safe place to explore.  What if he gets someone like Bad Domme?

Which brings us to the Tale of the Bad Domme.

There was a woman I worked with at the Studio who sexually assaulted her clients.  I’ve honestly never heard of anything like it.  I worked in commercial dungeons, all in all, for approximately 3 years total, and I never heard of anything like her, but she exists, so, it happens.

Intelligent woman.  Not educated, but intelligent, you can tell by listening to her speak.  Quick with the wit, observant, keen.  She also had a great sense of humor. She was aggressive.  A true Domme/Top…not like me, who’s more of a Service Top when I’m in that role.

She was beautiful, a stone fox.  We attracted a few of the same clients because we were both tall, leggy, and had similar coloring–light hair, light eyes.  Some drive-thru dungeon clients just pick a domme based on the physical “type” they are attracted to, so we got the same clients even though our personalities and temperaments were very different (most notably: I am….calm.  She does not).  She was younger than me, though.

She liked me a lot, and I know why: she was the same age as my students, and I was highly educated even though I came from a working-class background like she did, and she looked up to me and wanted my approval.

I liked her too…at first.  She was hilarious, generous, attractive.   Emotionally raw and transparent, which is a little fascinating for a super-cerebral INTJ like myself.

As I got to know her better, though, I started to withdraw almost at once.

She was very emotional, but her emotions were primitive, not complex.  Also, she was impulsive and fearless, which sets off tons of red flags.  And the aggression!

As I mentioned, we shared a few of the same clients…

….and I started to hear stories about her, from them.

I heard from four clients in all, over a period of about three months.  The story was the same, every time: she tied them up (which they had asked for), and anally penetrated them (which they HADN’T asked for).  

They were all uniformly aghast and appalled at their experience, of course.  They said things like (I’ll never forget): “I didn’t want to see a domme again for about seven months.  It made me really afraid to trust a domme again” and “I’ll never let a domme tie me up again.  I can’t do bondage any more” and “I can’t believe that happened to me.”

These guys contacted the dungeon before they came back to make sure this domme was NOT WORKING when they wanted to come in.  They were afraid of her.

As they should be.

I’ve heard of dommes doing batshit-crazy behaviors.

I’ve never heard of a woman sexually assaulting men/clients like that.  It’s disgusting!  There’s nothing wrong with getting butt-fucked, if that’s your thing, but you can’t do it to someone who doesn’t want it!  That’s sexual assault!  If you reverse the genders, it is obviously and completely criminal and unacceptable!  It’s not less reprehensible just because the victim is a dude!

And these clients WERE JUST THE ONES I HEARD FROM!  Who knows how long she’d been doing this?  When this happens to men, they are even less likely to talk about it…and she knew it.  She knew she could do it with impunity.  What is a client (probably married) going to do?  Go to the police and say, “I was sneaking off to the dungeon during my lunch break, and my dominatrix tied me up and fucked me up the ass with her fingers even though I asked her to stop?”  Of course that’s not going to happen!

This is wrong on so many levels!  These men are paying a lot of money for a professional service.  They are trusting us and putting themselves in a vulnerable situation.  How can you do this to them?  And, also, who the hell wants to stick their fingers in some random stranger’s ass, especially if they are freaking out?

Answer: a psychopath and/or some sort of fucked-up sexual predator.

I approached the Bad Domme about this.  She didn’t deny doing it.  AT ALL.  (Why not?  If I did it, which I can’t even imagine,, I’d fucking LIE about it.) 

“He wanted to be dominated.  Are you telling me you feel sorry for these guys?” she asked, with an eye-roll.

Well, yeah, I guess sexually assaulting a person is DOMINATING them.   And the clients were confiding in me and treated me perfectly okay in our time together, so, yeah, I do feel sorry for them.  Nobody deserves to be penetrated against their will.  What is wrong with you?  As a woman, how could you not know this?

But I knew, instinctively, that she DID know it…and that she was doing this for revenge. 

But that’s not okay.  That’s something you need to work through with a psychologist.  I admit that I have deeply ambivalent feelings towards men, because of my life experiences with them, but I am not motivated to be a domme/fetish worker because of my hostility towards men.  I feel compassion for my clients (unless they are total jerks), because I know what it’s like to have weird sexuality and needs, and I am open-minded and…well, I’m me!

I didn’t confront her further, because I was afraid of her.  Bitch could kick my ass.

I went to a manager I trusted and told her what I knew.

She was not sympathetic to the clients.  Hate to tell you that, clients who are reading this blog, but that’s the truth.

I tried another tactic, since the appeal to human decency wasn’t working out well: “What she’s doing is illegal!  What if she brings the cops down on this place?”

“Ha!  You think the client is going to complain to the cops?” the manager laughed.  And, as we know, she was right.

Bad Mistress was fired a few months later…for punching another woman in the face, in the locker room.

She went to another commercial dungeon, but I don’t see her listed on the Mistress page there anymore.  I assume they fired her, too.

If you are a client in the Tri-State area, email me and I’ll tell you who she is.  She’s dangerous.  My email is piecesofmargo@gmail.com.

I have to go to work now, but, to wrap this up: I was thinking to myself, what if my young 19-year-old client booked a session with someone like her…?  What would that do to him…?

I can keep him safe.


8 thoughts on “Client Warning: Tale of the Bad Domme”

  1. Hi Margo,

    Haven’t commented in a while, glad to be reading that you are doing well.

    I wonder how many people who email you are going to ask who she is for the opposite reason. I remember a long time ago on MF there was a domme who always got reviewed for pushing limits too far and for being generally abusive. The head domme at that dungeon posted later that whenever those reviews came out, her bookings would go through the roof.

    Michael

    1. Hi Michael! I certainly remember you.

      I can see the appeal of Bad Domme to a certain stripe of submissive/masochistic man. She always had clients (not necessarily regulars, as she traumatized them & they dropped out, but…always clients), and she worked CollarMe better than any domme I’ve ever met I told her a zillion times to go to school for Marketing or Sales…maybe Business Admin? She has unlimited confidence and she LOVES to persuade and shmooze.

      But I digress…

      Any masochistic sub who gets with her will have his, ahh, “needs met”…as long as he can pay her or provide some service she needs (chauffeur/car ride was a big one when I knew her). But she PUSHES. “Pushing limits too far,” as you write, and she is dangerous, and also has zero boundaries–this is someone who will take photos of your ID when you’re in the shower, and call you at home, and send you pics of your kids playing in the playground. Confrontation and violence excite her, primordially. She BURNED her “chauffeur’s” hand with a lighter (he didn’t know she was going to do it) and it gave him a big burn blister. WHO DOES THAT? I talked with other Studio domme friends about it, and the opinions were unanimous: some man is going to fuck. her. up. Like, hospitalization.

      Also, she will end up in prison. There is no doubt in my mind.

  2. Awhile back you were upset by therapist describing what you do as sick and not helping people. Reading this shows just how wrong he was!

  3. Well, Miss Margo, count me among those really turned on by stories of this psychopathic Domme.

    First, the story of anal penetration does not bother me. Unless it’s discussed beforehand as a hard limit, some gentle probing back there might be part of the range of things a Domme does with a new client to see what he reacts to. Not the seeing-stars pain of a large insertion, but something small.

    When I’ve done scenes, a lot of things were done to me without explicit discussion and consent beforehand. Nipple play, clothes pins on the penis, face slapping, spitting in my open mouth, bringing a TS Domme into the session to stroke my cock and tease me (then leaving me alone with her), even a very light piercing (which really freaked me out, by the way). I guess I see anal penetration as the same as the rest. I know some guys have a special distaste for it. To each his own and all that.

    Secondly, punching another Mistress is not good. Burning a slave’s hand? Well that depends. Even if it’s not pre-negotiated, if it’s within the bounds of the sorts of things he lets her do to him, it’s OK, though obviously extreme and borderline unsafe, since burns can become infected very easily.

    She sounds dangerous, and the fear that evokes in me is eroticized.

    Please send me a list with her name and all similarly unstable, dangerous Dommes in NY for fapping material.

    1. Well, John, I’d call you a sick little monkey, but since I have absolutely no room to talk considering my appalling taste in men, I guess we’re in the same losers’ club.

      I gotta quibble about the anal penetration thing: I don’t think it’s ever okay to do that without permission. It’s too intimate and potentially unsettling (which is exactly why she did it). The clients who spoke with me about her found the experience humiliating (in a bad way) and deeply unpleasant. And frightening. As a fellow sick little monkey, fear turns me on, but not everyone experiences it that way, and it’s hideous (not to mention completely unprofessional) to deliberately scare the shit out of unsuspecting strangers.

      Burning the slave’s hand…well, my sympathy for THAT guy is pretty minimal. Nobody FORCED him to hang out with her or drive her home (which he did, many times). The most simple-minded swain in New York could tell that she was physically dangerous and aggressive in, like, an hour. He put himself in that position. My point about the story, though, was that it demonstrates her impulsivity: every woman who is not brain-dead knows it’s insane to painfully wound a man when you’re alone with him in his car. That’s a great way to get a black eye.

      Oh, John, the tales I could tell you about this woman! She killed SEVERAL of her pets through neglect or callous disregard. She caged WILD birds of different species together and let the dominant stronger bird kill the other one (cardinal killed the pigeon). When she got tired of her dogs (pit bulls, of course!), she’d just “set them free.” Her neighbors took her to court several times. When I started to learn about her rap sheet, I started to distance myself from her.

      Then I learned something about her that freaked me out so badly that I literally got a new cell phone and phone # because I did not want ANYTHING about me (even a cell phone number) to be stored in her phone. When the SWAT team raids her house and seizes her electronics, I do not want them to think I have ANY friendship with this person. NOPE. I don’t want the authorities knocking on my door asking me what I know about her.

      1. OK, Miss Margo. You have destroyed my attraction to her. The killing pets thing, et al. is all very disturbing. Oh well, I am indeed a sick pup, but now this woman is unattractive to me.

        1. LOL sorry to kill your boner!

          The bird thing freaked me out, too. She found a juvenile male cardinal in the park and took him home (he wasn’t good at flying yet) and put him in a bird cage. She was showing me pics on her phone. I told her that it would drive the cardinal crazy and that the stress might kill it (as it has never been kept indoors or socialized with humans).

          Then she put a young pigeon IN THE SAME CAGE. The already-freaked-out cardinal freaked out even more, and she came home to a dead pigeon. She claimed to feel really sad about it, but I don’t know…it was frustrating to me because I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t thought of the birds’ needs. Who puts two different species of birds in a little cage?

          She also had a dove she bought from Petland Discounts and when its mate died (huh, I am curious as to how that happened) she did not get it a new mate/friend even though they cost less than $75. So that dove lived with her, by itself, in an apartment with a revolving cast of pit bulls. I am sure that if it could talk it would say something along the lines of “I hope I die soon.”

          She was always getting new animals. She brought a white Dogo Argentino to work one day. I didn’t freak because it was a juvenile, basically a puppy, but it was already getting big, and…where the fuck did she get a dog like that? And what did she do with it?

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