You guys, I had something strange as hell happen to me last morning….
I came back from a 3-day tour in San Francisco. I guess I was under a lot of stress. Mentally, you know.
I awoke at 7 AM and layed there, blinking owlishly at the ceiling.
This feeling came at me. Out of nowhere. It was a complete dark horse.
It was homicidal impulse.
I have never. wanted. to kill anyone in my life. I don’t want to kill anyone! I’m a nice sane polite person! I have “issues,” sure, neurosis, but I’m not VIOLENT. I’m gentle! I’m kind! I’m submissive and sweet! I have compassion!
I thought that my father must die. That it was time for time for him to go. TIME TO DIE, ASSHOLE!
The world would be a better place. And this would only be justice.
I mean, what does he contribute…? Jack shit. Nothing, to anyone. He only destroys.
I surpassed him intellectually, professionally, and emotionally, from the time I was…I dunno. 22? So why was I so afraid of this PATHETIC man all my life? I am BETTER than you in ever sense of the word, and every man I’ve been in love with, even those sick fucks, would eat you for breakfast.
So I thought to myself: if I was going to kill him, how would I do it…?
I have guns (Biathlon champion here, for real)…but I do not think he is so worthy of quick dispatch. I’d kill a chuckar, or even a trout, with more respect than I’d kill you.
You get the knife, mein Vater.
Right up the gut. The intestines and stomach, so that you don’t bleed out too soon.
Suffer for me now. As you taught me to suffer.
Time to die.