I may as well ‘fess up: tomorrow morning, I’m getting up at 4 AM to travel to the nearest very big city to do some professional BDSM. Mistress Margo is coming out of retirement.
I’ve know I was going for a few days now, but I didn’t blog about it because I hadn’t told Heinrich, and I didn’t want him to learn about it by reading it on my blog.
My motivations are entirely financial. I am compelled by necessity. I have applied for 42 jobs since late February, ranging from legal assistant and research analyst to part-time receptionist and data-entry clerk. Five interviews. Two potential employers told me that I was over-qualified and that I ought to “aim higher.” One told me that he was sure I would “do well.”
Aim higher, at what? Do well at what? All that I’ve done since grad school is teach undergrads, tutor, and assist other professors with data management or research projects.
I have sold a few minor articles and I also landed a job editing manuscripts for academics in South Asia. The editing job is nice, but it is not full time. The semester is almost over–I have one more check coming in, and then it’s done.
I check the job ads every morning. I’ve applied for awful shit that, if you’d asked me two years ago, I would have sworn I’d never do, like write executive summaries for a bio-science lab that does fucking vivisection. Office manager for a dentist. The only reason underemployment has not driven me totally stircrazy is that Heinrich has me writing all the time. That, and a gym membership.
I’m fed up. It cannot go on. I still intend to get back to NYC this summer. I have earned and saved money for that, but it’s not enough. I’m done with editing manuscripts at the kitchen table, waiting for the phone to ring and hitting the refresh button on my email. It’s fucking intolerable.
So, last week I started to search. Where, in the sex industry, could I ply my former trade? There is no market for New York-style prodomming in this town (which is why I came here, in my Escape from New York. Oh, THE IRONY! JOKE’S ON MARGO!).
I did my research, found the market, and put up new ads. I wanted to see if there was any interest. There was. Not like in New York, but there is work to be had.
I put off talking to Heinrich about it for as long as possible. I knew he would be against it. But the fact is, I have to live, and he does not support me.
I have a session tomorrow morning at 11 AM and another one at 12:30. Another one in the late afternoon, unless he flakes. I’ll also work the next day if I can.
It’s a completely new market for me. New market, new clients–I can’t even fall back on my old regulars.
And I’m working all by myself. I don’t even have my New York sex worker friends for the support and camaraderie.
But I am refreshed, recharged, and well-rested. My head is clear and in the right space. I am secure in my sobriety. I am ready to work again. Heinrich and I worked out a few things–I won’t be subbing for anyone.
Tomorrow is going to be a very long day. Hopefully, it will also be lucrative.
I’m bringing my laptop. I might be blogging from my hotel room.
San Francisco, here I come.