No Cookies For You

     This morning, while I showered and got ready for work at the Office Monkey Temp Job, my mother told me that she would pack my lunch.

      When I opened it at 11:30 AM, I found a single oatmeal cookie.  
      And I don’t eat oatmeal-raisin cookies.  

      How does one interpret this?  Did she just forget to pack, I dunno, water and crackers and an apple?  Maybe she took a phone call, and forgot.  But at 7:30 AM?  I didn’t hear anyone call.   I was in the shower.  But who would call that early? 

        Is she trying to say “FUCK YOU AND YOUR LUNCH, GET LOST?”  Because I’d respect that if she said it.  

        Last weekend, I was trying to help her make chocolate chip cookies.  I thought it was something we could do together.  I try hard to be useful around the house.  I do all my own laundry and I clean and make the room every day and I feed the little dog and do my dishes and last time I was paid I gave her $200 for electricity and I am trying to move out as soon as possible.  I clean the bathtub every time.  

       I asked if I could have chocolate from the chocolate chip bag, and she gave me exactly 1 chip.  From the whole bag.

        I said Momma!  Come on!

        She gave me one more chip, and then put it away.  

       This is weird, right…?  This is weird…? 

7 thoughts on “No Cookies For You”

  1. Yes, it’s weird. The dynamic with your mother reads like the beginning of some ageplay porn where she is infantilizing you to the point where you ask permission to eat chocolate and then later follow her arbitrary demands like drinking the last of the soda. It’s weird and fascinating.

    1. there is nothing pornographic about my relationship with my mother, dude. There is nothing sexy about this environment.

      It is weird, though. I concur.

      Thanks for the link, btw.

  2. Hi Margo,

    You sound surprised by your mom’s behavior over this and the soda earlier. Is this different from when you were growing up or more recently? It is strange behavior, sounds kind of like passive-aggressive behavior to me, but my psych training consists of a single course I took in college 30+ years ago, so take it for what it is worth.

    Take care of yourself


  3. bizarre and cruel.

    i wish there was something i could do to help you get out of there sooner than later. these last two blog posts detailing interactions with your mother blow my mind.

  4. I have a daughter the same age as you.

    Every time you write a piece like this, I try to imagine what I’d say to myself if I was relating to my child in this way.

    I think I’d say that I needed counselling, at the very least.

  5. Dear Miss Margo,

    Yes. That sounds weird. These stories make me think that your mother has a strange relationship with food. Eating disorders don’t drop on people from the sky.

    I am tempted to go into an AA-style ‘can you top this’ story of my own parents’ strange relationship with food, and how it damaged me. But I will refrain. Suffice it to say that food decisions can be fraught with all kinds of unnamed terrors for me.
    It sucks.

    I look forward to reading how you pull yourself back up on your feet. I can see the beginnings of it now, but it will be nicer when you are further along.

    Stay strong,

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