“What are your favorite toys?”
–Random Internet Stranger
To use or to receive…?
I don’t call them “toys”, I’m too serious-minded. I call them tools or implements.
I like to use my hands. The touch is very intimate. Grind, pinch, poke, probe, slap, punch. Dig my thumbs into pressure points. Pressure, the application of pressure…
On that note: there is something very fun and exciting about pinning a man with my weight. I have no idea what, aside from the symbolism, but it feels good. I like to curl up astride his chest like a cat who’s going to steal his soul, and get some good eye contact.
I like the belt and the cane. The Dread Wooden Hairbrush of Doom adds a feminine element to the beating. I like to do that whilst wearing a satin nightie and short robe, in front of my vanity with all the mysterious feminine potions–makeup, perfume–on the counter. I would never hit a child, but I would hit you.
I like wooden tools.
I’m not big into floggers unless they are very, very heavy. A soft but very heavy flogger made from elk suede is a bone cruncher and produces tremendous sensation without much tissue damage. One of my clients, Fortinbras, has such a flogger. I’ve never felt anything like it.
I like asphixiation. It’s one of the only fetishes I have that I feel guilty about, because I know it’s dangerous and stupid as hell. FWIW, I never do it when I’m alone, and I refuse to do it with clients. And yes, it kills brain cells. But damn if it doesn’t feel good.
When I receive, I prefer to take the violence on my upper back. That is my favorite place to be hit. Most people prefer the buttocks, but not me.
I like to use clothespins, binder clips, and plastic claw-clips for hairdos. This is sort of weird because I personally hate crushing sensations. But damned if they aren’t fun to use on men.
Clothes: boots and leather and metal. Or old-fashioned lingerie. I am definitely a leather domme rather than a latex domme.
I like rope.
“Why don’t you have an Amazon Wishlist?”
–the Same Random Internet Stranger
I’m too modest to ask strangers to buy me stuff. Also, if you are an asshole, gift-giving is a form of bribery and emotional manipulation. My restraining-order Ex, John, would bully me with money all the time.
I am not accusing you of being an asshole. I’m just saying that I’m skeptical of getting something for nothing. But then, I write this blog for free and 8 people read it, so there you go.
My domme friend, Mistress C, says that I am a “fucking retard” for not making men buy me stuff, but for some reason this feels degrading to me. I cannot tell you why it feels degrading. Is it because I am allergic to entitlement? Or do I have proper perspectives reversed in my head?
I can tell you about stuff that actually IS on my (private) Amazon shopping list:
Rome: A Cultural, Visual, and Personal History, by Robert Hughes.
American Police Equipment: A Guide to Early Restraints, Clubs, and Lanterns, by Matthew G. Forte