One of the reasons I like my apartment building is that I usually don’t hear a peep from my neighbors. The street four flights down can get a little noisy on late Summer nights, but my neighbors are typically quiet. The walls in this building must be solid brick or I must have exceptionally quiet neighbors.
That changed this week.
Some English guys–two or three–moved in across the way. Not the hallway, but the way between the bedroom window and the apartment across…well, a bricked-in corridor of nothingness. It’s difficult to describe. I’ll try to post pictures so that you can see for yourself.
Anyway, one of these English guys is disturbing my serenity with his SEX SOUNDTRACK.
I’m not picking on him for his sex soundtrack. I have a sex soundtrack myself–I have multiple soundtracks, in fact…different soundtracks for different partners. You probably have a soundtrack, too. Lots of people have them.
The English guy across the way has a very…unlikable sex soundtrack. It is starting to make my life, ahh, unpleasant. At first I thought it was funny and I spammed all my friends with email about it, hooting with laughter as I typed.
It’s not so funny anymore. The joke is on me, I’m afraid.
Can you guess what his soundtrack is? Quick! Think of the worst, cheesiest sex soundtrack music you can imagine.
NIN “Closer?” Anything by Tool?
NO! It’s even WORSE! (And God, did I just date myself?)
“I Just Died in Your Arms!” by Cutting Crew! Shoot me now!
It’s not even part of his Sex Soundtrack Mix Tape! It’s the entire soundtrack! He puts the song on repeat! He had his girlfriend over the other night and I heard “I Just Died in Your Arms” six times!
Why? Why, God, why?!
(And, inexplicably, this video has 6,020 ‘likes’ on YouTube and only 59 ‘dislikes’…well, 60 ‘dislikes’ now that I’ve added my contribution. WTF approves of this music? Like Arab terrorism and the post-Industrial economy, I have been subjected to this awful fuckin song my entire life, and I resent it. When am I not going to have to listen to bad 80s Baby-Boomer pop in the grocery store?)