Crisis Averted by Wonderful Cab Driver

    Last night, Captain Cranium here left about $450 worth of bondage equipment and S&M gear in a briefcase in the back seat of a taxicab.  

    I didn’t even remember it until this morning, when I was tidying up and went to clean it and put it all away. 

    I. Almost. Flipped. My. Shit. 

    I have a separate set of equipment that I use in my personal life, with boyfriends (WHAT boyfriends these days, ha, ha?), but I sure as heck am not going to use that stuff with clients.  Nothing against clients, but I have to have boundaries, or else I’ll lose my mind. 

   (The last time I lost all my stuff was in a taxicab in Las Vegas in 2009.  At least that time I had the excuse of being drunk.)

    After debating whether it was worth humiliating myself, I called the cab company to inquire about getting my perv gear back.

     The benevolent cab driver had turned my briefcase in to Lost & Found.

      Oh, thank you Jesus.  Or whichever deity you do or do not believe in.

     Benevolent cabbie is getting a thank-you card with a crispy $50 bill inside.  And I am swinging by the garage to retrieve my kinky briefcase this morning after class.  I do not care if it’s embarrassing. Let them laugh.  

    P.S.  The Mathematician got busted for our HIS affair.  I guess he saved some of our sexy flirty text message conversations from January on his cell phone…presumably for wack-off material, but who knows?  Mrs. Mathematician read them.  The Mathematician let me know, in the event that she contacts me to, ahhh, inquire about him.  

    Sucks to be you, you selfish scumbag.  

    I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for THAT confrontation.  I’ve researched his wife.  She is an intelligent and accomplished individual.  I bet she rained down holy hell on him.  

     Actually…no, I don’t think I would have enjoyed witnessing it after all.  

     Because if the Mathematician is not a total idiot–and he’s not–he would lie his ass off about me and about the affair.  

     “She was just a sex worker.  I never spent the night.  I never stayed at her apartment.  I never encouraged her to care about me.  I never BROUGHT OVER A BORROWED BIRD.  She meant nothing to me.”

     Yeah.  That would hurt to hear…

    (Assuming that he’s telling the truth about getting busted by his wife.  My friend–the one who found him for me–thinks that he could be lying.  That it could all be a sympathy ploy.  “Miss Margo, my wife found out about us, she’s leaving me, I want to be with you, can I come over and get into your pants again?”)

     I can’t put anything past him.  Not after learning what I learned.

    I see you reading, scumbag.  Hope you like it. 

     P.P.S.  The Surgeon’s history.  He still pops his head up from time to time–or, more accurately, circles like the JAWS shark–but I think he’s finally history.  

     He had a few screws loose, and he could be abusive.  I remain fascinated by his capacity for cruelty and explosive aggression. Definitely not Boyfriend of the Year.  But he never mislead me.  He wasn’t pathetic.  And he sure as fuck would not stoop so low as to bring over a borrowed cockatoo.   

     At least he respected me more than that.  

     You are lucky, Mathematician, that I did not send him after you.  If I wasn’t worried that he’d pull an OJ on me, I would have. 

3 thoughts on “Crisis Averted by Wonderful Cab Driver”

  1. Thanks! I’m glad that you enjoy my little blog. I like to get feedback from my 8 readers, lol.

    I might be a happier, healthier person if I started to lead a less eventful life, though. I mean, if it gets any more eventful, I just might lose my mind.

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