Just checking in…
You know, I hate to have another blog post where all I do is grouse and complain, but I have to ask…did someone, somewhere declare March to be official “Creepy Client Month?”
Because no sooner had I pulled it together emotionally well enough to really get back to work, when these scumbags started crawling out of the woodwork. There was a lying, asshole physician (imagine that!) on the Upper East Side (NO, not the Surgeon) who had a leather gimp outfit like in Pulp Fiction–which was surprisingly difficult to look at for two hours, by the way–who tried to cheat me out of my fee. There’s been a guy named Dave who keeps calling me at the Studio for phone sessions, which doesn’t sound so bad, but believe me, listening to him alternately lie about all the ways he intends to “serve” me and jerk off gets to be intolerable after an hour and a half. Dave also mailed a strange, creepy card to me–I’ll try to post a picture later today, because you guys are going to LOVE this one–that I will not handle without latex gloves, because I am convinced that it has been contaminated with semen or some other grossout substance. Dave wants me to go see a show with him and wants to do my laundry….uhhh NO! He is also badgering me for attention, free attention, because nothing demonstrates appreciation and sincerity like trying to get your prodomme to work for free!
Yesterday I turned down a session with an old, drunk Indian man who tried to kiss me. He was wearing a bad wig and a bunch of jewelry from the $.99-store and looked like the crossdresser from hell. I just could not go through with it. No way. So, I didn’t do it, but I still can’t get the image out of my mind.
Finally, we have the worst of them all…a lecherous old creep that I’ll call “Mr. Wang-in-the-Face.” Don’t worry, I got out of there unmolested and with my money, but he was a very, very trying client.
He wants to see me tonight for dinner. Readers might find that strange, but I’ve actually been hired to eat or go to the opera with a client about half a dozen times in my career.
Now, the question is: is it worth it to be seen in public with this awful creature (and I’m not calling him that because he’s ugly, even though he is, I’m calling him that because he’s disrespectful and has shit for personality) and sit through dinner at The Palm for $300?
Serious question. Serious! You can tell how unlikable this man is by the fact that I am seriously considering whether it’s worth the money to put up with him. Because it should be a no-brainer. Shit, for $300, I’d usually be willing to suffer through dinner with Adolph Hitler! In fact, I’d rather dine with Hitler than Mr. Wang-in-the-Face!
“Dining with Hitler”–that sounds like the name of a rock band.
Two hours. $300. Two hours. $300.
Still not sure if I’ll do it. If I do, I will try to take lots of photos.
In the last week, I’ve written three long blog posts about each of these clients. I didn’t post them because I hate to whine and I feel bad complaining about my bread and butter. Most of my clients are pretty good to me. There’s just been a string of these bad ones recently.
Just checking in…