I feel much better today! Yesterday I was a bit blue and I had no idea why (aside from the unresolved relationship tension). Muh feelings! Muh feelings! Fuck feelings. They suck.
Much better today. Maybe the stack of sweaty, crumpled $20 bills sitting here on my desk has something to do with it. It looks like he must have pulled the money from its hiding place in his mattress. $400 last night to kick a wackadoodle around my apartment (I covered the bird cages so that they wouldn’t see and get traumatized). The guy was pretty weird, but nice enough. He was a film geek.
“You mean you haven’t seen The Umbrella?”
I shook my head, sitting next to him on my sofa. I was wearing a fascimile of a Catholic schoolgirl uniform, and my hair was in braids. I felt silly, but whatever. It was his dime.
“I can’t believe you’ve never seen The Umbrella!” He wailed, as if I’d said that I’d never seen Forrest Gump or something.
I think almost all of my 8 readers are men. I base this on the fact that almost all the people who ever leave comments are men, but I don’t really know. In any event, I hope that I don’t alienate my male readership with the following:
Men are fucking crazy, and they are even crazier when sex and hormones are involved, and they think they might be anonymous.
I spent half an hour this morning browsing the Craigslist personals ads. I wasn’t looking for a connection, I was just looking for entertainment. As usual, Craigslist didn’t disappoint.
Want to look at some ads…? OF COURSE YOU DO!
First, we have a banana clip fetishist. That’s a new one to me, which is saying a lot:
Do you have long hair and wear banana clips? – 37
Date: 2012-11-18, 10:28PM EST
Next: home repair in exchange for handjobs. This guy actually doesn’t sound so loony-toons. He seems earnest and sincere. It wouldn’t be such a bad idea, except for the fact that I can’t imagine any woman, anywhere, taking him up on it. Am I wrong? Do you think this fellow has a chance…?
HOME REPAIRS FOR WOMEN – 50 ( L I & QUEENS)
Date: 2012-11-19, 10:02AM EST
Finally: garden-variety exhibitionist perv. For mysterious reasons, he felt compelled to list his profession in his weird sex ad, as if being a banker was in any way germane to the topic. And check out that photo! Girls don’t act that way of their own accord, you silly goose! How can you see that as sexy, and not completely contrived? Bet your ass those models laughed their heads off when they went out for a cigarette break after the photo shoot!
Is that really what goes through your head all day?
Watch This Tall, Lean Exhibitionist Banker Show off – m4w – 26 (East Village)
Date: 2012-11-17, 11:48PM EST
Anyone interested? Some pics below give you an idea of what I am looking for. Can host or travel.