Tales from the Biz: Bad Santa

     Hilarious (and FUN!) two-hour session at the Studio this week–I think my readers will enjoy hearing about this one.  

     This man comes in for his appointment.  He reminded me of an Art or Design professor–he had heavy brown-rimmed hipster glasses and he was wearing a cardigan sweater which looked both ugly and very expensive.  It looked intentionally rustic. He had lovely snowy white hair and a very close, neatly-trimmed beard.  He had rosy skin and a rotund figure.  

     He reminded me immediately of Santa Claus. 

     He was quite intelligent and liked to talk.  He brought some pot with him and smoked it during the session (being a gentleman, he offered to share it with me, but I declined.  Pot makes me confused and quiet.  It didn’t bother me that he was enjoying it, though.).  You know how dorky old people look when they smoke pot, though?  Seriously dorky.  

      This guy was in such a good mood!  He was really partying down.  He would say these silly yet charming things, such as: “I love to relax!  This is so sensual!”  Then he would raise his arms start swinging his hips, burning joint in hand, and dance for a bit.  

        “Do you want to dance with me, Miss Margo?”

        I had a big smile on my face, but I was trying not to laugh.  This was funny stuff, but I didn’t want to insult the man.  He was a good guy.

       “Sure!” I said.  “We are here to have a good time!”

        He dances more.  “Oh yeah!  Your legs are so beautiful.  You like this, don’t you?  Yeah!  You love it!  NAUGHTY!” 

       In my mind, I thought of this: 


           We danced around the ornate Studio room, sans music.  I can’t dance, but I must admit, I was having a fun time.  He was laying on the joy and terrible seduction techniques.

      “You’re such a naughty minx!  I love it!” he said.  Whaaat…? 

      In my mind, I thought: BAD SANTA!!! BAD! 

     He tipped me a hundred bucks.  

     Thank you, Bad Santa.  Come back any time.  


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