I have always been surprised at which posts on this blog turn out to be popular. Sometimes I’m amused by my readers’ preferences, and sometimes I’m just confused. The posts that I think will be popular sink to the bottom of the blog ocean like the submarine Kursk, while random posts I jotted down in a hurry from the top of my head generate traffic and comments, sometimes for months after their publication.
Here are PiecesofMargo’s greatest hits, in no particular order…well, almost no particular order:
#1: Boy on the Rug
Far and away the most popular page on this blog. I wrote it in ten seconds when I found a picture on the internet that I thought was hawt. It was a silly post with a stupid title (I’ve always had a problem with titles…academic writing, fiction, my titles were always shitty).
But…do you know how many people on earth search internet search engines for “coconut porn?” Yes, that is what they google. “Coconut porn.” And its many possible misspellings: “cocnut porn,” “coconut oprn,” etc etc.
And get this…it gets better. The coconut porn thing is a head-scratcher. I have no idea what coconut porn is, do you? But the mystery deepens: almost all of the coconut porn hits come from Arab or Muslim countries. Almost all of them! Why? If you know why, can you tell me?
I’ve wanted to write about this before, but I was worried that someone would think it was insensitive or racist or something. But how it is racist if it’s what is happening? People in Jordan and Indonesia are looking for coconut porn. Nobody in Mexico is.
I almost took down the post because it’s an outlier that skews my stats, but what the hell. Traffic is traffic.
#2: VERMIN! Cockroaches and Mice
I have found the vehicle for world peace: humanity’s hatred of vermin. You could get the Israelis and the Palistinians together for a barbeque and they would get along famously as long as the topic of conversation focused on cockroachs and their elimination.
People from around the world want to know whether cockroaches are immortal, so they search for it, and Google sends them here. I also get notes of sympathy from people who share my fear of roaches and notes of contempt from people who want me to know that New York City cockroaches are nothing–NOTHING!–compared to the roaches in other parts of the world. Readers share tips and tricks on dealing with infestations, and a few total strangers have, touchingly, inquired as to how vermin elimination at Margo Manor is going months after I wrote about it.
#3: That Nutty Adorable Surgeon!
I am not surprised that these posts are popular, because a lot of them involve sex and relationship drama. People like to read about other people’s relationships. What is interesting to me is that these posts are popular, but nobody says a thing about them to me. People read and keep their opinions to themselves. I assume they do that because they want to be polite. Nothing nice to say, so they don’t say anything.
For what it is worth, the feedback that I do get about the man is not positive and readers’ impressions of him are not complimentary. The messages I get about him are: 1) Miss Margo OMG are you okay? 2) Please be careful and 3) This guy seems like a creepy kook.
Dude. I never even wrote about the bad stuff he’s done.
The Surgeon did get a few supportive shout-outs after he chewed me out for being at a strip club. No comments, but I did get two emails along the lines of “Good for him! If you were my daughter, I’d lock you in your room, too!” I couldn’t tell if the emailers were judging me or expressing protectiveness or both.
#4: Breakup Protocol
Apparently, people want to know if there is a breakup protocol, because I get random strangers from around the English-speaking world who find this blog looking for etiquette.
#5: My “Man Hands”
This one got hundreds of hits. I liked writing this one a lot because I thought I was being really funny. Look at those zingers! Frito talons? Airbrushed nails? Seinfeld? Come on!
As it turned out, nobody who communicated to me about this post had anything to say about the writing whatsoever.
But the respondents fell into two categories. The first group was spillover from the pit bull war blog Craven Desires. A troll from Craven Desires came over to my blog and jumped on me. Then Craven herself (!), and some others, came over here to jump on the troll.
The second group of respondents were (and are) a bunch of people who got angry and offended that I was selling my used shoes to strangers on the internet. They expressed their disapproval via abusive anonymous comments, which I declined to publish.
Why? Why would anyone get mad that I was selling my shoes? Because, presumably, the shoes would be sold to fetishists, and that’s “gross” and it makes me a “slut?” Really? But it would be okay, I presume, if I sold the shoes at a garage sale or Buffalo Exchange? HELLO! YOUR LOGIC MAKES NO SENSE, ARISTOTLE!
#6: The Biz
This one is pretty self-explanatory. The topic is popular because people are curious about what goes on at a commercial dungeon.
Posts about Alcoholics Anonymous do pretty well, too. For some reason, nobody seems to be interested in my birds. Haahaha.
Thank you all for reading, whomever you are. I’m flattered that you enjoy my blog and knowing that people are reading it encourages me to write. Writing is a healthful hobby and a professional skill which always needs more honing.