CollarMe Hell: Dudes Love Their Wheels

     Okay, honest question: what is with the obsession guys have for their cars (and motorcycles, and boats)?  Seriously.

      Men post a lot of pictures in their ads of themselves posing with their wheels.  Or on them.  Or inside of them.  Or riding them.  

     I’m mystified.  I have not seen a woman posing with a car.  

     Actually, a smart woman ought to do that!  GUYS WOULD LOVE IT!  Shit, guys love pictures of models in bikinis on cars!  Guys love that shit so much that they pay for magazines full of such pictures! 

Hot Babes and Wheels

     CollarMe is full of bad pornographic cartoons, wolves and hawks (or lions or panthers if the guy posting is black–black dudes like lions, not wolves, I’ve noticed), and men on wheels!  It’s like a damn auto digital auto show in there!

     This guy was actually pretty cute (and my brother has a bike just like that–I learned to ride myself on something similar). But see the background?  Does that look like NYC to you?  No.  

     This guy’s photo has two for two: macho bike and a very serious, macho Dom-ly scowl on his face.  Just take my word for it:

      Not to be outdone, our next suitor is posing with not one…not two…but THREE METHODS OF TRANSPORTATION!  A bike, a truck, aaand a hugeass R.V.!!!  He’s like, “These other guys have nothin’ on me!  Take that, bitches!” 

3, count em, 3 machines!

      That’s enough Men&Machines for now.  You get the idea. 

      This dude has emailed me four times.  I haven’t responded and I am not going to.  But I do have to hand it to him: I am almost impressed with the way that he just doesn’t care.  I mean, it takes either a true sense of humor, or a breathtaking amount of confidence, to use this as your profile photograph and email it to women in the hopes of attracting them:

“I give CollarMe two thumbs up!”

    First, where the hell are you?  That’s not a cemetery, is it?  Does it look like a cemetery to anyone else?  
    What is that shirt you are wearing?  It’s not a tank top.  It’s a t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up.  If you’re going to do that, why not just wear a tank top?  In any event, it is unacceptable to wear a shirt like that anywhere except the beach, a fishing expedition, or camping.  Maybe doing lawn work.  Are you doing lawn work in the cemetery, sir? 

      Arrrgh…my eyes!  My eyes!

   This is the avatar photo of another guy who emailed me.  I’m telling you: wolves and roses.  Hawks and roses.  Lions and roses.  It is a zoo full of predatory animals.  You know what would really get my attention?  A dude with something cool, like an aardvark. 

       What do you want to bet that this person listened to Guns n Roses?  That’s okay.  Being white trash myself, I own Appetite for Destruction too!  “Cold November Rain!” Hey, a girl can’t listen to Beethoven ALL the time!  Sometimes you just want to put on some leopard print camis, snort some meth, and play with guns! 

      Actually, that avatar looks like a kids’ temporary tattoo that you could get out of a machine at the grocery store for 50 cents.  

       A reader, Paltego–whose site, FemDom Resource, I link to on the sidebar–dug the Guns n Roses shout-out, so I went to Most Holy YouTube and found the music video.

       Truly, if CollarMe was a music video, it would look like this.  Is there a cornier music video in existence?  And if there is, would you please post the link so that I can watch it? 

4 thoughts on “CollarMe Hell: Dudes Love Their Wheels”

  1. Yes, the animals and swords and stuff may be predatory, but they have a rose. The rose indicates that they will treasure the beauty of the gift of your submission. And it will be a gift because, trust me, you’re not going to get anything back.

    I’m convinced that in this world, there are a lack of dominants. Dominant men and dominant women are vanishing. One can find psychopaths and pretenders — they’re available — but few dominants. Maybe I should turn dominant. And I would too, except I think I’d always be asking “How may I serve your submission, ma’am?”

    I love your blog.

  2. I suspect it’s a combination of status (I can afford this expensive thing), being self-centered (I like this thing, therefore everyone else will) and photo availability (that’s a shot of themselves a lot of guys will have).

    I will say that as a lover of fast cars (although I’ve never to my recollection posed with them), they are hopeless for attracting the opposite sex. I can count on one hand the number of comments I’ve had from women about them. But hundreds from young guys. So great if you’re gay and into college kids. Less so for anyone else.

    And woot for Appetite for Destruction! 🙂


  3. Posing with a car? Not i. I only drive the damned thing, speeding to no end, and testing its limits. (Lamborghini Diablo sv)

    Oh forget those silly flowers and firearms. Here’s something especially for u, not corny at all 🙂

  4. Basic male behavior. I’m surprised you’re so surprised by it. All that is just the I’m macho/powerful/successful display. And geeks with money are probably worse… Reminds me of a friend whose idea of a relationship was that woman would like all his expensive but still geeky stuff and she would somehow want to “be a part of that”. A bit a like a piece of furniture or a trophy.

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