Sunday + Mathematician Conundrum

     If you live in the Tri-State area, I must encourage you to get outside today if it is at all feasible.  

     For the first time in what feels like forever–actually probably three weeks–that it’s truly comfortable out.  This summer has been miserable.

    The weather is gorgeous.  Dry and warm.  It’s perfect.  

     I went to the gym and then came home, cleaned up, and baked cookies: 

      I had a good time last night.  I went out and didn’t get back till late.  I bailed when the drugs came out–I’m really not much of a nightlife person, and never have been–but I still had a good time.  And FYI: everything you’ve heard about Germans and sexual depravity is true.  True!

       There’s also a new guy…though I don’t know whether I should write about him here, before anything has really happened…

       This guy contacted me months ago through an independent ad I was running (not associated with the Studio).  I met with him and we started having appointments every other week or so.  


      Here’s the kicker: the guy’s not kinky.  He does not want to be oppressed.  He is not a fetishist.  Basically, he hires me to hang out with him in some fancy lingerie..  There is a little T&D towards the end, but compared to the stuff I usually get into at the Studio–or with the Surgeon, Lord have mercy–this is as wholesome as you can possibly get.  It’s actually a little confusing–you’d think that this guy would be better served by a stripper, but he doesn’t like strip clubs.  He doesn’t like prostitutes, either. Yeah, I don’t get it, either.   

      This guy has a crush on me and I’m pretty sure that he wants to date me. 

       Normally, this is the Kiss of Death in a professional relationship.  A bit of a crush is fine–even desirable–as long as the man has a very clear understanding about boundaries and exactly what we are doing together.  But if he has a real crush on you, then you might as well put a bullet in it, because it isn’t going to end well.  This has happened to me many times.  Client falls in love with a fantasy of what he wants you to be.  In your professional role, you are an actress and an avatar for his fantasies.  He might know you a little bit…but he won’t know you as people in your outside life know you.  Hell, in my case, I deliberately feed clients misinformation–they don’t know what fields my degrees are in, or what neighborhood I live in, or what state I’m from.  I lie.  I have to.  Loose lips sink ships, baby.  You think the parents I work for would approve of me teaching their kids if they knew what a degenerate I am?  

       Anyway, I’m rambling.  What I meant to say was that the client falls in love with a fantasy, and then when reality knocks, he always feels the same way: butthurt, rejected, and/or embarrassed.  It does not matter if you did anything to reject him or wanted him to be hurt.  He will feel hurt and rejected regardless.  And humiliated.  He will run away to lick his wounds and you will never see him again.  

       So this guy, the non-kinky client–we’ll call him the sexy Mathematician–he has a crush on me.  He sends me guy-tarded text messages and shows me his vacation photos and wants to hang out.  Usually the options are: put a bullet in it now, or wait for it to run its slow, inevitably painful course.  

      Here’s the thing: he’s actually a very nice and attractive man.  He is actually total relationship material.  He has a Ph.D. in math, a good sense of humor, a friendly dog, gainful employment, and a parrot.  He is also athletic and good-looking in an affluent dorky country-club sort of way (think boxer shorts with boats on them).  He is older than me, but not scandalously older–people don’t think that I’m his daughter out in public.  

      If I met him on a dating website, I’d definitely schedule lunch with him.  That’s what I’m getting at.  

      Maybe I could try going out on a real date with him.  It’s no big rush–I have plenty of time to think about it.  

     If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out.  And if I date him for real, I’ll never be able to see him as a client again.  

      But I’m going to lose him as a client eventually, anyway.  It is going to happen.  Feelings of rejection and butthurt are in the future.  Before Halloween, I’m wager. 

      I’ll think more about it.  

     Now: to AA, and then Thompson Square Park!

Parrot Sez: HELLO!  Give me a scratch? 



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