Summoned to Boston II


      Not sure what to make of this.

    The Surgeon likes to go through my stuff.  

      Objectively, I know that it’s creepy…I always just saw it as funny, until I saw the other side of it. 

     This morning, when I woke up and went into the bathroom, I saw that he’d opened and rifled through my cosmetics and toiletries bags:   

3 bags, opened and rifled through

     See that…?  All three bags!  And he took em out of the drawer, too–I didn’t leave them on the counter! Look at that!  He even unwrapped my makeup brushes! 

      I took the photo so that I could inquire about it.  I sent it to him with the text: Surgeon!  Why you go through all my makeup?  What were you looking for? LOL

      He wrote back: I don’t remember doing that.  Sorry? 

      Dude, he had to remember.  He was drinking, but he wasn’t smashed. And besides, he’s done this before.  My wallet, my phone. 

    It’s weird.  It weirds me out and I don’t like to think about it; I try to avoid thinking about it in my mind.  I write it here because there’s nobody else I can tell.  I don’t talk about him with anyone else except my analyst.  

      He is a secret that I keep.
                                 *                                      *                               *                                    *

  Sore and hurting on the train, but content.  I have that stupor; that been well-used affect.  

     The Surgeon is not a good partner, but I have to hand it to him: he knows how to get me fixed.  

      The hotel was awesome!  Experience has taught me: two beds are optimal.  One bed for playing and one for sleeping.  Sure, the King-sized single bed feels decadent and spacious, but you don’t want to sleep in your own blood, do you? (pop quiz: am I kidding?)

      I am very partial to hosiery…have I ever told you that?  I love stockings, garters, hosiery with patterns, backseams, fully fashioned Cuban Heel stuff.  YUM.  Very sexy!  I wear hosiery whenever it’s not too hot outside. 

       My leg last night, after I dressed for dinner.  Six-strap garter belt by Rego, purveyors of fantastic authentic vintage lingerie.  Stockings are made by Berkshire–without a doubt, the best quality “affordable” hosiery I’ve ever seen.  They have gorgeous colors and a good fit, and the lace at the tops looks expensive.  They’re usually less than $10 per pair.  The Surgeon always expresses approval when I wear them, which, given his proclivity for criticism, is quite a compliment.    

   Here is a photo of myself when I walked into the room, before I got dressed–I love this Lisa Simpson t-shirt!  I wish I’d bought 5 of them!  I can’t find it anywhere and it’s getting old and I’ll have to retire it soon.  BOOO! But anyway, it says: “Miss Smarty-Pants” with an image of Lisa carrying a stack of school books.  

     And yeah, I know I’m still…not right.  Too heavy.  But getting there.  Progress. 

    HUGE BATHTUB!  YAAAAAY!  I like to take baths and splash around in big tubs!  I like to play around in water.  This tub was so deep–have you seen those suction-cup bondage cuffs?  Google it!  They are fun!  I also like to be tied up with rope and submerged.  It’s scary.  YEAH! 

     Pulling in to Penn Station–I have to go.  Bye for now! 

One thought on “Summoned to Boston II”

  1. That’s very creepy and maybe indicated you should have been going through HIS stuff (not that you’re interested. My bf used to go through all my texts. One defense was “well you can go through mine!” Ha, he deletes stuff for one, and secondly I didn’t want to.)

    Other than that, it’s really just you (and maybe that asshole) who thought you were too heavy at this level. I totally understand disordered thinking, just don’t have any of it very often anymore & hope you’ve gotten past it as much as you can. I know this is years ago but it can stick, especially if you don’t play “musical chairs” with various behavioral and other disorders/addictions.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.