My reader, John (he can be found in the comments section), hooked me up to this great song about cockroaches:
Update 9/10/12 I slept with the light on last night and had awful dreams about cockroaches. I want to know if this fucking thing is still in my room, but I don’t want to research the insect (I think they live in nests, so it would have gone home by now) because I don’t want to see pictures of them. GROSS GROSS GROSS
Today after I finish with laundry and my students, I am going to (get this) TRY YOGA. Yeah yeah, you might be going, “Margo, that sounds like some bourgeois hipster bullshit to me!” You may be right. However, the tendons in my legs are stiff and tight and my posture is poor from spending so many years as a little office monkey. The women at work rave about their yoga, so I am going to try it. There’s a place by my house that offers a weeks’ worth of beginner lessons for just $25, so if it sucks or I’m too clumsy to do it, I won’t be out much.
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So, I just got done brushing my teeth and was getting ready for bed when what do I see crawling on my bedroom floor but a HUGE FUCKING MONSTER COCKROACH!!! I am serious! This ugly motherfucker is even bigger than that bastard I sucked up in the dustbuster last year!
I screamed and ran out of my room.
I collected myself in the living room and tried to decide how to deal with it. I would have rather seen FIVE mice than a roach that huge. I would have rather seen RATS. GOD! BARF BARF BARF
I fetched the bleach from underneath the sink. What could I do? I had to deal with it somehow. It was in my bedroom!
I peeked through the door and saw it sitting by the computer chair. I tried to bleach it from the doorway. I got some bleach on it, but it ran away. I should have just stomped the ugly monster. But I was scared! It ran to my bedspread and I had to pull the bedspread off and I got bleach on it so I had to rinse it out in the sink just now! BOO! The roach ran under the bed and I am NOT going to chase it. UGH! UGH! I hope I sprayed it enough to poison it!
This disgusting roach–where did it come from? How long has it been living in my room?
What am I going to do? I keep looking over my shoulder, thinking it’s going to come out. I cannot sleep with it here. I could sleep with the lights on, but the light didn’t keep it away last time. What am I going to do? Sleep on the couch? Because of a roach? Really?