Imaginary Boyfriend: Max Keiser

     I discovered Max Keiser when journalist Matt Taibbi linked to Keiser on his blog.  As soon as I closed my mouth and put my eyeballs back in my head, I started watching every Keiser Report I could get my hands on.  

     I love Keiser.  He’s kind of scary because he’s fearless and he has a weird sort of manic energy, but I fucking love him.  He always sticks up for the underdog. The man will fight with anyone.  Nobody intimidates him.  He’s like Michael Moore on Moore’s best day–he has absolutely no problem with getting up in some swine’s grill and holding them accountable.  It’s breathtaking to watch.  I especially love it when he gets an interview with some bigshot corporate apologist and Keiser tells him that he ought to be shot.  Miss Margo is too polite (or too cowardly) to say that to someone’s face, but boy oh boy, do I think it.  I’ve mellowed a lot since the days when I was active in a Socialist youth group (“It’s a labor rights organization, Mom,” I’d say, as I returned from stuffing radical tracts in library books about Karl Marx), but I’ve still got a streak in me a mile wide.  Keiser has the right idea. Bring back the guillotine and the gulag, and do it right this time.

       Keiser is also really funny, and he pulls these wacky stunts on his show that make me do a double take.   He might actually be a little crazy.  One time he put pantyhose on his head like a bank robber and imitated a Financial Services thief.  I laughed so hard I choked on my breakfast cereal and started fist-pumping the air.  

        They won’t let him on a lot of mainstream media, but you can find him all over the internet and on good shows like Russia Today.  I love his blog, too.  Actually, I think I’ll link to it.  

       And he lives in PARIS!  How awesome is that?   I love Paris!  It’s beautiful there!  I wish I was in Paris with Max Keiser RIGHT NOW!

       Mr. Keiser: if you ever need a place to stay in New York, you can stay with me!  I would also like to offer my companionship and a lifetime supply of blowjobs on demand.  Just ask!  I’ll hook you up!

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