EVERYONE’S Dating Online These Days!

      One of my co-workers at the Studio, Amy, belongs to a few internet personals websites.  She entertains us with her dating stories and shows us the profiles and pictures of the guys she’s interested in.  

       “Oh!  Look at this hottie who emailed me!  Margo!  What do you think of this one?”  she turns her laptop around so that I can see the screen.  

       I repeat what I say about almost all of the guys she likes:  “He looks like a meathead!  Think he’s got enough gel in his hair?  Is he wearing a gold chain?” 

      She laughs.  “Fine!  You don’t have to like him!  More meatheads for me!  You can go out with the unsexy nerds.  Nerds need love too.”  

       “And crazy creeps who beat her up in hotel rooms!  Don’t forget those guys!  Right, Red?” says C. 

        Amy pecks on her keyboard.  “Here, Margo, let me see if anyone you might like has emailed me….there’s got to be someone here.  Hmmmm….not that one….not him.  Wait, what about this guy?  He looks kind of like a news anchor.  He is awfully old, though.” 

        She turns her laptop back around so that I can see:

Actual photo used by a member of dating website “Cougar Life.”  NO, I AM NOT A MEMBER!!!
            I mouth drops open.  “What the hell? Is that…?”  

         I get off the couch and run over to her computer.  

        “I think he’s too old to be on Cougar Life, too!  But he’s not bad-looking, if you like the type.  Here’s a picture of him with his niece.”


             I bend over the screen and gaze at the pictures intensely.  

         “Is that…?  That’s WESLEY CLARK!”  I say.


          “That’s gotta be Wesley Clark!  Yeah!  That’s him!” 

          “Who’s Wesley Clark?” asks Amy.

          “The General!  He’s, like, a general in the Army!  He ran for President in 2004!  As a Democrat!”

            “Woah!  A bigshot General is on Cougar Life?  Margo!  You should totally email him your pictures and phone number!  Some of those military guys make great Tops!  He’d love you!” 

          “Amy!  Get real!  There’s no way that’s the real Wesley Clark!  He’s an important guy.  No way would Wesley Clark sign up for Cougar Life, much less post his pics!”

          “What’s wrong with Cougar Life?” 

          “Nothing, but a General is not going to be a member, because it would be a scandal,” I explain. 

        “I met my guy on (cheesy trashy internet dating service redacted), and he’s a bigtime CEO,” says C.  “You saw that interview he did on FOX news.”  

         “Yeah, and he’s also crazy and unemployed right now,” I say. “He had to go to rehab for crack cocaine.  That suggests something about his good judgement.”  

       “It was alcohol.  Not crack. His buddy uses crack, not him.” 

      “Whatever.  Amy.  Read the profile.  What does his email say?  That cannot be the real Wesley Clark.” 

       She reads the profile.  

       It is not Wesley Clark.  

       So, there is some scammer out there on Cougar Life posting pics of Wesley Clark.  We found the pics on Google images.  

       Be careful out there, boys and girls! 

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