Praise for Pigeons!

Awesome ad at my local subway station

   
 Many people despise pigeons.  I find this hostility incomprehensible. I want to ask pigeon haters: what did pigeons ever do to you? The only undesirable thing pigeons do is crap all over the place.  Well, shit happens–literally.  We would crap all over the place if we didn’t have toilets.  


     What’s not to like?  Pigeons are pretty.  They are related to doves, which are universally beloved. They are docile and completely nonthreatening.   They make a gentle cooing sound, instead of a harsh noise like a crow (can you imagine how awful it would be if pigeons sounded like crows?).  


       Pigeons perform a role in society.  They are scavengers.  We leave them food to scavenge.  The eat our garbage.  We have a symbiotic relationship. 


      They are also useful and entertaining: people used carrier pigeons for hundreds of years, and there are pigeon clubs all over the world.  People pay big bucks for fancy pigeons.  


      Check out these rolling pigeons!  In flight, they tuck their wings in and tumble downward in a circling motion.  I suppose the rolling was originally a survival mechanism meant to distract and fool raptors.  Human bred to emphasize rolling tendencies, so now the pigeons are rolling fanatics.  


      In fact, if one breeds two deep rollers together (rollers who roll for a long time), their offspring will kill themselves once they fledge.  


      They start to roll, and they will not pull themselves out of it.  They fall right down from the sky and dash themselves upon the ground.  They perish upon impact.  


      


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