Letters, I Get Letters!

    On a happier note, I went to a meeting and I have two students tomorrow (normal!) who are going to pay me in cash and a booking this evening with a very nice nerdy guy who wants to listen to opera with me.  Sure, why not?  


     Speaking of students and bookings, let me tell you about the letters I get.  Boy oh boy, do they get interesting!  They are an endless source of fascination for me.  


      Here, for your entertainment and mine, gentle reader, I will share one of the best letters I’ve received in the past few months.  Actually–I’ll post the entire exchange.  It really is that good, and context is everything.


     (I know it is not very nice to publish this, but if I leave out all identifying information, it won’t hurt anybody, right…?)


      To begin:  Man calls me to inquire about an appointment.  It must have been a casual, uneventful conversation, because I have no memory of it whatsoever.  If he was frightening or offensive or markedly unusual, I would have made note of it.  There was nothing–nothing!–in his conversation that hinted at what was to come.


MISS MARGO (via email)
Hi, I just called you.  We chatted for 20 minutes.  

How are you?  
Call or write if you’d like to set up an appointment!
ANONYMOUS MAN (via email, 48 hours later)
In truth, I am not well.

In my inability to sleep, I have arrived at some startling conclusions (though in truth, I was already aware of most of these).

1. I am severely depressed.
2. I am obscenely shy.
3. I have been severely depressed for, hmm…let’s ballpark it at eight years.
4. The fact that I have these issues within themselves is a great source of shame.
5. Depression and anxiety have impeded my personal and professional success.
6. As a result of lack of fulfillment both personally and professionally, there is more shame.
7. This shame from the shame seems to have evolved into the fetishes we discussed on the phone yesterday.
8. And as I mentioned, there is now shame from the fetishes, so if you’re keeping track, there is shame from the shame from the shame (yes, my plot is even more convoluted than “Inception”).

Here are some questions/conclusions regarding you.

9. Considering what you do, you’d be equipped to provide release (please pardon the pun, though perhaps I’m making light of things by touching on the pun, which is always the folly one risks when stating “No pun intended.”).  I might feel better for a brief period of time.  Or at least feel something.
10. In light of this deranged email, would you still associate with me?  I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.
11. Do you believe you can alleviate the shame of possessing such fetishes?
12? Considering the deep, but rather evident underlying feelings surrounding them, do you think you’re capable of going beyond satisfying a few kinks?
13. Would you be willing to if you could?

I don’t know why I’m reaching out to you instead of a therapist, family member, or friend. Prolly cuz all have let me down at some point.  Once again, if this is too much for you, simply state so and I’ll never contact you again.  I can respect that.  At the very least, try to take amusement at the fact that, of all things, I’m reaching out to an amateur dominatrix (note that I am not insulting your work or your relatively brief stint doing so professionally, but rather, doing the best that I can of exemplifying this beautifully absurd situation).

Tootles,

Anonymous Man
MISS MARGO (via email) 
Well, I have to tell you, Anonymous Man, this email is definitely a keeper!

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