I have a question: what is up with men and their fucking cameras?
The other day I was talking with friend of mine about comedic cringe-worthy teenage sex-and-dating experiences. The tone of the conversation took a turn when she said that some asshole took photos of her undressed and they were probably circulated around at school.
This issue pisses me off to no end. I’ve had this conversation with probably a dozen women, and every single one of them has either been photographed without her consent (either she told the guy not to take their photos, and the guy did it anyway, or she had no idea she was being photographed, and only found out about it later), or was photographed by consent and had the pictures (or video) distributed against her wishes later. Every single woman I’ve talk to about this has had it happen to her.
I stopped seeing one man–a professor (not my professor)–a few years ago when I was awakened by a camera flash. My friends know of the good professor as “Paparazzi.” I immediately confronted him about it and had him delete it. He apologized and said that he didn’t think it would upset me (huh?), but I left anyway.
Another dirtbag took a photo of me sleeping in his bed. I found out about the photo when one of my classmates (grad school) saw it on the guy’s iPhone and told people about it. I called up the dirtbag and he promised he deleted it, but I am sure it exists on many hard drives.
Realistically, I am 100% certain that there are photos of me out there, somewhere, that I am completely unaware of. Men seem completely unwilling to resist violation and humiliation by camera.
I let a boyfriend take photos of me in the shower one time. Before I broke up with him, I went into his apartment under the guise of feeding his cat and I took them all back, along with the film. He was a nice guy, but you never know.
I have had strange men take photos of me as I sit, reading, in the park. I have had them take photos of me on the subway. Amazingly, some of them think that it will be a flirtatious conversation-starter (“Can I take a picture of the pretty girl?” SNAP!).
Men take pictures of strippers in strip clubs without the women’s permission. They seem to think it’s a joke.
I know one woman whose ex tried to use their sex tape to blackmail her, but the most common motivation for releasing tapes and photographs seems to be simple malice.
Put your cameras away, assholes.