“What You See Here and Hear Here Stays Here.” Riiiiiiight….

    I doubt my general readership will find this interesting, but I just wanted to say that AA has the most efficient, reliable grapevine I have ever come across in my entire life.  Gossip spreads through that organization like wildfire.  It’s stunning, really.  It’s as if they all have twitter, and they all use it.  That guy in the back of the meeting who is the timekeeper, or who’s emailing his boss?  He’s tweeting.  I’m sure of it.  Have you ever wondered why the official newspaper of NYC AA is called The Grapevine?  I’m telling you why.  


      Case in point:  I went to one of my home groups (I have two…two and a half if you count “Scream and Cry,” which I blogged about here) and spat out The Awful Truth about sucking down two liters of vodka over the weekend.  It’s shitty that I have to lose all my time, but there’s no way that I could honestly try to pass that off as a “slip.”  It’s a relapse.  A small one, thank God, but that’s what it is.  


     Everyone was great, very supportive, was glad to see me again.  It’s a good group.  I like most of them  a lot (I think one of them is going to bring a gun and kill everyone one day…everyone else seems to think he’s harmless, but I think that he is frighteningly hostile).  


    Meeting ended; the group dispersed.  


    Not thirty minutes later, my phone blew up.


   How?  How did word travel that fast?  The people that called me don’t even go to that AA group.  They go to different ones.  I don’t get it.  Did someone leave the meeting, run around the corner, and whip out their cell phone and call Intergroup and have the news of Miss Margo’s vodka-sucking mailed to every AA member via certified letter?  


     I am not even a popular member.  I don’t have close AA friends (shocker).  I don’t Chair anything.  I have one small service commitment. I’m not sleeping with anyone in AA. I’m not important.  Why gossip about me?  


      So weird.  So, so weird.  (FYI, I’m not mad or anything.  I don’t care if anyone knows what I did.  After all, I talked about it.)


     I will take this opportunity to warn my readers: AA is not anonymous.  Not really.  I’ve noticed that it can get very secretive and closed to outsiders, but within the membership, everybody knows everything.  If you say it in a meeting, or to people at fellowship, or at a AA party or study group or wherever, then it is public knowledge.  That’s a fact, and you ignore it at your peril.  


     I’ve told em a lot, but nowhere near everything, and that is why.  Last name?  No way.  Secret job?  Forget it.  What I study?  Nope.  No identifying information.  


     I hope that nobody reading this construes what I’ve said as a criticism of AA.  Believe me, it’s not.  I have criticisms of AA.  Many of them.  Sometimes I want to write them down and take them to a meeting and nail them to the door like Martin Luther at Wittenberg.  What I’ve written about in this blog post is not a criticism; it’s an observation.  That is all.  


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