Miss Margo’s Relapse II: Fear and Loathing on the Train

    Well, I went to see the Grad Director, and I guess that it went well because they told me things that I need to do.  I wasn’t told NO, I was told what I need to do, so I guess that is affirmative–things could be okay.

     One person I am friendly with called me and we talked on the Quad.  That was nice.

     At the train station I was so hungry that I bought some gummi bears.  I was eating them on the train ride home.  I was so overwhelmed and scared that I started crying.  I could not help it.  I tried not to, and I tried to look normal, but I was still leaking tears.  I looked up and saw this young black guy with a textbook looking at me.  He looked concerned, so I put my hair down (I was wearing it up) and let it fall around my face.  Then I sat there leaking tears and snarfing down gummi bears like a nutcase psychopath.  It was so embarassing.  I hate to cry and I don’t show negative emotions in public.

    Now I have a few hours to get my shit together and then I have to make myself SUPERPRETTY and go to work at a party in the SUPERSTUDIO.  The very thought makes me want to barf all over the place.  I want to suck down a bottle of Scotch, but I know that would just make everything WORSE.

       I have to drag myself out of this, but I am so frightened and miserable.

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