I just found an awesome video on YouTube. I don’t believe in God or the supernatural, but if I did, I would think that this video was some sort of message from Beyond, and that I was “meant” to come across it.
It’s perfect! What we see here are actually two sides to my personality: The Count and Cookie Monster. The Count is smooth and collected, and he makes spooky things happen. He is reasonable and solution-oriented. The Count is obsessed with quantifying things. The Count probably jerks off to data sets.
Cookie Monster is a beast utterly ruled by his obsessions with cookies. Cookie Monster is basically a cookie junkie. Cookie obsessions have ruined Cookie Monster’s life and taken his dignity. Cookie Monster should probably go to SMART Recovery or Cookie-Addicts Anonymous. Now, I do not eat cookies (FATTENING! No thank you–can’t have that–how about my BRAIN, instead? ), but that’s okay–cookies can be a metaphor.
P.S. I’m working on an Elegy for Dr. Drew Pinsky.