(…Is “sexual Rorschach test” redundant?)
I’m introducing a new topic to this blog, a subject near and dear to my heart: Making Porn out of Coconuts. I credit defunct blogger Bitchy Jones for coining the phrase. I believe it’s inspired by Gilligan’s Island or some similar lost-on-a-desert-island story, where the survivors have make everything they need to live out of coconuts and bamboo–hence, porn out of coconuts.
I have to make porn out of coconuts because (as longtime readers of this blog have doubtlessly surmised) I’m a little weird. I’m hardwired differently. I wouldn’t say that my hardwiring is wrong (though it can be problematical and inconvenient), but it is, statistically speaking, definitely atypical (I prefer not to use the word normal for a reason that has nothing to do with my being defensive). Suffice it to say that I see erotic potential where others do not, and vice verse.
Consider the following ad for Diesel shoes, which ran in magazines (where I came across it) a few years ago–I think around 2008. I cut it out and put it in my Coconut Porn folder. Then I got online and found a digital copy.
Now, I’m pretty much a pure heterosexual, so two dudes are not particularly interesting to me, but whatever. When you make porn out of coconuts, you can’t be too picky. This is a very weird, very provocative picture. It’s fascinating. I try to understand what is going on.
|Miss Margo sez: don’t ever say I never gave ya anything, good reader….click to enlarge|
Think of it as a projective psych test, like the TAT. If you were describing the events in the photo as a story, what would you say? What do you think is going on?
I was waxing rhapsodic about the photo to an old grad school friend who asked if he could take a look. We are very close, so I let him have a gander. He couldn’t make hide nor hair of it and he looked vaguely disturbed.
“Okay–this is clearly the old guy’s house,” I effused, gesturing about the photo. “See that old-fashioned armchair, the bowling trophies, the lace curtain tops? Definitely the old guy’s house. The young guy is visiting–he’s a hustler, a professional. Look at how well-groomed he is, his unusual choice of clothes. The old guy paid the young guy to come over and rough him up. The young guy is good at it–look at that sneer on his face, the shoe on the back of his neck!”
My friend looked at me. His expression was kind, but it was obvious that he thought I’d lost my mind. “Oooo—kay,” he said. “Well, that’s interesting.”
Yes, it is interesting. Very interesting, indeed! I plucked it from his hands and put it back in the Coconut Porn folder for safekeeping. Good porn like this does not just fall out of the sky, you know!
This ad has a following on the web. I knew I wasn’t the only one!!! Would do anything to know who conceptualized it and how it got approved for distribution.
P.S. Applied for two band-aid jobs this morning. Found opening for position as legislative assistant that sounds interesting (unlike the band-aid jobs) and I plan to apply to that one, too, after I tweak my resume a bit.